Wherever She Is, That's Where Home Is

Image: https://www.etsy.com/au/shop/smallglow

*This is going to be a long post, so prepare some drinks and snacks!

Mother's Day is coming up in a few weeks in Australia and I'm already getting email notifications for Mother's Day gift ideas. I saw this beautiful wooden sign saying: "Home is Where Mum Is" on Etsy and I it just prompted me to write this post.

You won't realise the value of something until you lose it. I used to dislike being at home, having to hear my mum yelling at us (me and siblings) almost every other day, or mum telling us to do this and that. I constantly complain about her cooking because she always cooks the same thing over and over again. But now that I live away from her, I miss everything about her. Every time I parted ways from her that's when our relationship actually grew closer than ever. When I just returned from Japan, I was very clingy to my mum. I hardly refuse to drive her anywhere she wants. And now that I rarely visit Indonesia, I miss her food really bad.

Now that I'm going to become a mother myself, I realised how much sacrifice my mum has done for me since I was still in her womb. Carrying a baby is not easy at all. In the first trimester, if you are unlucky, you will feel extreme tiredness because your body is creating a new soul and building a comfy 'home' for it. Then when the tummy gets bigger, it becomes harder for you to walk or even bend yourself. There will be a time when you will have a difficult time putting your socks on.

This is my mum

She is a thrifty person, but she is not stingy when it comes to education. I remember all of those cram schools and English courses that she made us attend. She always accompanied us, waited at the premise until the course/cram school was over, and bought us snacks and dinners afterwards. I do owe her a lot. I guess her thriftiness has helped her kids greatly from getting the best education to giving a head start at buying a house.

She left her job when she was carrying her first born, which was me, at 24 years old, because she couldn't cope with the morning sickness. But although she's not a working mother, she never cease to amaze me. She is a very smart investor and a woman with great taste. With no appropriate finance background or whatsoever, she knows how to invest her wealth in share market. And thank you mum for the art talent that we all (of her three children) picked up along the way.

Mum and I after crying at the airport

I have never ever cried at the airport before. And the only time I let my tears run down my cheek was when mum was about to fly back to Indonesia after a brief visit last year. She was hugging me very tight as if she had just found her lost precious belonging (or, rather, not wanting to lose her precious possession again). And she whispered in my ear, "why do you have to be so far away?" (I think this is partly my fault for not visiting her often, but the ticket are so expensive!). But deep down inside her, she knows that she had to accept wholeheartedly that my (then) future husband will take me away. She tried to cheer herself up, saying, "but anyway, living anywhere is just as good as long as you're with your husband." (I'm like - are you serious... with this kind of husband?? Nah, just kidding :D).

After she left, home is quiet again. No more pillow talk with mum anymore (she slept with me when she was staying over, I had to kick out my husband to the second bedroom). The next day I found her comment of our last photo together at the airport, "sometimes I still feel sad when I remember you." Oh mum, if she knew that I cried for days and days after she returned...

But, hey, everything is cool again now! We've been having lots of chit-chats about bubba. I gave my mum a task to purchase baby clothings and I can't believe her excitement. "Mama sudah belanja untuk calon cucu yaa," she said one day. I told my mum to get it later when I've reached my 7th month of pregnancy. I'm not even in my third trimester yet and she's already purchased (almost) everything! She even purchased stuff I told her not to get! Anyway, I'm happy for her because she's been waiting for this bubba for 4 years (LOL).

If you feel like you haven't been appreciating your mum enough... not loving her enough... surprise her with something that she likes on Mother's Day or arrange a mother-daughter/son lunch or dinner and tell her how much she means to you before married life separates both of you.