How I Used To Write Random Stuff

Photo by STIL on Unsplash

This is my first post after a very long hiatus from blogging. Kids are hard work and they just won't let you go to have your own quiet time. Well, I've only got one kid now but, believe me, he sticks like a stamp on an envelope. The (not-so) good news is that I've been told by fellow mummy friends that this is going to continue at least until he's 5. Yes, 5 years old. That means I still have another 4 years and 8 months to cope to this madness. And by that time, we're expecting another little brat angel will come inshaa Allah.

I have not achieved much this year other than moving laterally in my company and trying to settle down into a role with a completely new job descriptions. So, I decided that I would spend some of my quiet time while these eyes are still capable to open wide and baby is fast asleep to develop my personal site. I know I have an always-updated Linkedin profile. But I thought I'll make something with my added personal touch. After all, I'm a person who loves creativity.

I was just about to register a new blog just with my full name. Keeping it simple because, duh, it's a personal site with my not-so-short resume all over it. To my surprise, Blogger said that the blog name had been taken. By who!? I'm the only person in this world with THAT name! Anyway, I went scouring through the list of blogs I had in the past. Still couldn't find the one with my full name, but I managed to find an old blog of mine with just a lot of random posts. From songs that I was listening to, to just some random stories or rants. It's called blog 365. 

Reading it again felt really good. I mean, I can't remember the last time I wrote stuff like a teenage girl writing in her diary. Those posts sounds so naive, honest, genuine. I like reading (and writing) posts that have personal touches to it, anything like rants, confessions, genuine convos are definitely my 'thing'. It's therapeutic. Haha, I guess I'm just nosy. But, yeah, I think I should continue write like a teenage girl - sometimes, not always though.

Disconnecting

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

There was a time where I had several social media accounts and I was overwhelmed by them. Which account should I update?! Because ideally I'd want to update everything at once. And that's also around the time when all of the social media platform finally introduced 'linked accounts' and there were also third party apps that will help you update your social media accounts all at once although you update from only one of them. Eventually, one by one my account had less and less activities either from me or my connections so I started to let them go. I'm just going to quickly share the reasons why I'm disconnecting and why you should consider (or do it) too.

HOW OTHERS WOULD FEEL ABOUT MY POSTS

One of the main reason why I started to disconnect because, other than stalking other people's activity, is that I'm not active much. Why? Because I think too much before posting. Why? Because I don't want to be seen as bragging and showing off. So, I always think of these before posting: Does my post will cause envy or jealousy? Is my post benefitting anybody?. If it can potentially cause envy or jealousy and it doesn't benefit other people's lives then I would pass (most of the time). I know I've been guilty of posting Omar's photos where he eats without fussing though (which I know can make other mothers so jealous😫). 

I BECOME LESS DEPRESSED

Haha. This is probably one of the biggest reason why people quits social media. Let's face it, it's very rare that people go on social media without comparing their lives with others and starting to get jealous, envious of other people's lives. I've lost count at how many times I've become so depressed and envious of other people just by scrolling through Instagram. It literally gave me headaches so the extent that I had to uninstall it to keep myself sane.

(I need to) Remember that most of the time, what you see on social media is only the good side of people's lives. That may not be even the 90% of them. And people rarely expose their flaws. Some people like Kara is an exception. She actually shows the hardships and normality of being a mom of three in Melbourne. But I wouldn't be able to be like her though as I'm just not

comfortable at 'vlogging', talking to a camera, it's just too much hassle for me, and it's just such a time waster for me.

MAKING TIME FOR OTHER THINGS THAT REALLY MATTERS

For me, this is my main deal breaker for staying active on my social media accounts. When I complained that I don't have enough time to do the things that actually matters to me, it really boils down to the time I spent in the social media world. I was constantly checking my phone. I think I would be spending 3-4 hours in a day on my social media accounts. Most of the time it's just me checking what other people are up to. I wasn't even uploading photos on Instagram nor posting statuses in Facebook. Anyway, that 3-4 hours doesn't actually have any effect on my life. So it's just time wasting away.

***

I'm not totally against social media as they are still one of the best platforms for me to engage with  my family and friends. But for my current needs and priorities, I do have to really disconnect rather than just limiting my self to only an hour a day.

I only have two social media accounts that are still active: Instagram and Facebook. Meaning, I still open them and post stuff once in a while. And in the case of Facebook, it means that I still scroll through the timeline and comment and likes my friend's posts once in a while but not posting myself because people that are on Facebook are so judgmental!

I'm currently logging off from my Instagram because I was just constantly on it, unlike Facebook which I have started to grow very weary of. Anyway, the result of me disconnecting is that I finally have time to write in my blog which I think it's more meaningful for me since I can write super long posts without having to stress about the screen size and being pity to my thumbs for doing such hard work for me to type stuff.

My Bad Sleeper

Can't believe my little Omar is almost 6 months old. I am so proud that my "bad sleeper" can now sleep by himself with little help. Well, sometimes he still nurse to sleep though but the other day I was ignoring him (busy with my phone - don't follow me🙈), our backs were facing each other, he didn't cry and made little-to-no noise. When my sister came into the room, she said that Omar was already asleep.

I can remember clearly how he used to be a really bad sleeper. Every time I drop by at the office and everyone would ask how he was sleeping, I always said, "He's a really bad sleeper😔." How can he not be a bad sleeper if he only wants to sleep in a certain position which sometimes worked and sometimes doesn't? Not sure if it was colic, but I just put up with him and stopped guessing the cause. We had to put him sideways, sometimes he slept on his tummy (don't preach SIDS to me please), and most of the times he can only sleep while cuddled. At times I wanted to cry because of the exhaustion of not getting proper sleep because I wasn't comfortable with my sleep position (if I had to cuddle him).

Nowadays mothers get judged about the way they do things. I wanted to do the right thing, but then I learned there's no right or wrong, just find the one that works for you. I did a google search if sleep training is the "new normal", but the answers were mixed. A couple of times I did let him cry his head off to exhaustion hoping he would eventually sleep by himself. Well, it never happened. He cried for a good 15 minutes, sometimes even more. I can stand listening to him cry for more than 15 minutes, but I was afraid it may affect his brain.

Eventually, I realised that Omar won't be small for a long time. He won't ask to be cuddled while sleeping all the time. So I should just live in the moment and try to enjoy while it lasted. And I think I had made the right choice. Now he's slowly coming off of me and able to sleep by himself.

12 Hours of Labour

Hello world! After over 6 months of blogging hiatus, I'm finally publishing again. It will be on and off since juggling housework and the little one is very overwhelming.

So, after waiting for 9 months, more or less, finally my "little king" arrived in this world. We used to call him "little king" because he always gets away with what he wants. If he wants milk now, I have to give it to him NOW. Otherwise, he will persist crying and crying until I give him what he wants. He was born at Westmead hospital, at 8.49 am. He weighed a healthy 4.2 kgs and was 53 cm long. We named our little boy Omar.

BABY ARRIVED LATE

My last blog post on my pregnancy update was for the 40th week. You may think that I should have delivered the baby not long after that because there's no further update. But in reality my pregnancy was overdue for 10 days. My mum was already in Sydney at that time so I was busy keeping her occupied (she gets bored easily) hence the lack of blog update. I was also busy getting the labour going naturally so I did a lot of long walks, etc.

So, as mentioned, my pregnancy went overdue by 10 days. Four days before the induction I was still having the regular midwife check up and the midwife said, "You should have delivered the baby by now. What's happening?". Well, how about you tell me what's going on. She did a sweep of the cervix and said that I was already 4 cm dilated and she was even confident that I will be delivering the baby on the weekend. I thought, "Yay! Baby is going to have the same birthdate as me!". She also referred me to visit the Day Assessment Centre the next day to see if my water is still adequate and baby is doing fine. After the full assessment at the Day Assessment Centre, the midwife gave me a date for the induction.

August 19th passed. August 20th passed. August 21st passed. I was disappointed that baby wouldn't be sharing the same birth date with me. Then August 22nd came - the day of my induction. I called in at 11.30am (I was told to call in first as they are usually busy in the morning). I was told to call again at 2pm because they're still busy. Then at 2pm I called in again and they are, again, still busy. I was told to call in again at 4pm. At 4pm I called in and finally they told me to come in at 6pm.

THE 12 HOURS OF LABOUR

We arrived at the hospital at 6pm and waited in one of the room in the Birth Unit. Finally at 8pm two midwives came and setup the CTG scan to check on the contraction. They commented on my perfectly round belly and the very ugly stretch mark. They said it looked like the "tree of life". I call it horrible. After checking the CTG result, one of them said, "You're already having contraction." Really? Because I didn't feel any pain at all. But apparently that tingly feeling in my stomach is contraction. 

She asked if I had the slightest idea what we were going to do. I said no, hehehe. Then she explained how we're going to start the process - because what happens afterwards can be varying from case to case. Since the sack was still intact, the midwife started the process by rupturing the sack using a flexible plastic needle that looked like a crochet hook. The water started coming out like as if I just dumped a bucket of water. Oh, so that's how water-break feels like. The midwife then said, "Your water is green. The baby must have pooped inside. He might be stressed inside hence the pooping." Oh great, I drank all of that coconut water for nothing. I heard that coconut water was good to keep the water clear so when the baby was delivered he will look clean. I diligently drank litres and litres of coconut water hoping for the water to be clear, unfortunately baby pooped inside, making the water green. 

The contraction started to build up after the water broke. I finally felt that horrible contraction pain, but it was not that bad yet, until they introduced 'the drip'. They gave me 'the drip' 1-2 hours after they broke my water and I had not dilated further. After 'the drip', everything just went climbing up the hill - or mountain to be more precise. The pain became even worse and it was very unbearable. The midwife told me not to push, but I just can't resist the urge to push. Plus, it made me the pain more bearable if I pushed. After struggling for an hour or two, the midwife offered to use pain reliever. Before going into labour, I was dead set on not using any pain reliever, but since the midwife asked, I thought it must be that bad that she eventually suggested it. So then I said yes to gas. It did help me - at first. Gas should be inhaled when the contraction started to build up and released when contraction slowed down. Hours and hours later the nurse said the gas wasn't effective anymore as I was inhaling the gas even when the contraction was slowing down.

After the gas wasn't effective anymore, the midwife suggested using epidural because I was already tired but still haven't reached the point to push. I was told by everyone that I know to never get epidural, but I must be not dilating further hence the midwife suggested it. I thought, they must know what's the best if they suggested it. So I reluctantly said 'yes' for an epidural - trying to increase my chance to deliver normally. The nurse who was on the night shift told me, "We're trying our best to have you deliver normally. I've told the doctor that you should be able to do so." Not long after I was administered the epidural, I fell asleep until morning.

WHEN MORNING CAME
I was surprised that I just woke up from a good sleep (how did that even happen!?). I felt much better. I was still inhaling the gas somehow and still could feel the effect, but then the nurse said, "Oh, that doesn't work anymore. We've cut off the gas access." Haha.  Then I started feeling contraction building up again. I thought after you've been administered epidural, you will deliver the baby while your hips area was still numb. Well, apparently it's not. I told the nurse, "Why am I feeling a contraction building up?".
     "That means you're ready to push"
What!? I didn't know that epidural effect can disappear before delivering the baby. I felt a couple more contractions, then joked with the nurse (and partially hoping), "Can I get another dose of epidural?"
     "No. Okay, start pushing when you feel the contraction builds up."
I started to feel the contractions again, then familiarising myself with the rhythm again. I was pushing, pushing, and pushing. I couldn't feel anything coming out, but the doctor and nurses always said that I did a good job and they can see the hair already. I was so confused which one is right. The doctor checked the baby a couple of times and told me that he's in undesirable position for delivery. He was facing to the sides. The doctor tried to turn the baby a couple of times to the correct position, but he apparently insisted on staying sideways. Finally, the doctor said, the only way to get the baby out is using vacuum. The doctor explained the procedure and risks, but I was already not paying attention and all I wanted is to get this baby out! So I just said yes.

They prepared the equipment and instructed me to push when they say 'push'. By this time I gave all my might to push. I can see the doctor and nurses pulling the baby as hard as they could as well. Wow, is getting a baby out of the womb 'that' hard? I pushed one more time and finally the baby came out. I felt a huge relief.

MEETING HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME
The baby was checked and cleaned before they gave him to me for skin to skin contact. I think remember my husband saying that he didn't have the chance to cut the umbilical cord, the nurses did LOL. They also asked if I would let them give baby's first immunisation, and I confirmed I was ok with it. They just gently put the baby on my chest and I could clearly see that big lump of flesh with soft skin in front of my eyes. I was staring straight to his eyes. I just couldn't believe it - now I'm a MUM. My husband then recited the adzan in the baby's right ear. I remember stroking his skin, observing very closely of what people commonly call newborns as alien-looking. It felt very surreal, my motherhood journey had just begun.

Pregnancy: 40 Week Update

I actually have three different due dates depending on how it was observed. According on my doctor, I'm supposed to be due by August 12th. According to midwife, I'm supposed to be due by August 14th. And according to my last ultrasound, I'm supposed to be due by August 19th. If following my doctor and midwife, I'm either due today or overdue by 2 days. But bubba decided that it's comfier inside mummy's womb LOL. So, yep, baby is still inside me while I'm writing this blog post :D.

NO SIGNS OF LABOUR YET

I've tried everything to get my labour going, but until now nothing has happened. No cramps  or any signs of contractions whatsoever. I've tried walking, eating pineapple and dates, spicy food (I often have spicy food throughout my pregnancy so I doubt that this will help at all), telling bubba to come out, etc. None works and I'm getting desperate! A friend of mine whose due date is around the same time as me already delivered her baby on Friday.

On my last check up with the midwife last Thursday, she said, "You're supposed to have delivered the baby by now, what's happening?". I'm like, "Umm... I don't know... I didn't feel any contractions at all!". And, oh, by the way, I gained another 1.5 kgs in a week. I suspect this is because mum already arrived with loads of comfort food from Indonesia. She made me eat everyday and I'm not getting enough exercise - deadly combination (-_-)". The midwife also said that baby's head was not fully engaged yet (what? I was told it was already engaged two weeks ago!) and asked if I would like her to do an examination to trigger the labour. I nodded and the midwife did what she needed to do. Before I left the appointment, she reminded me again that I should just keep walking to get the baby down. But to be honest, I'm starting to give up walking because I can't bear the weight on my tummy anymore. Baby's getting bigger and bigger by the day (pretty much sure of that!), my tummy's definitely getting harder and harder, and now I worry that he's too big to be delivered vaginally.

After reading a couple of people's posts in forum saying that baby will decide when it wants to come out, now I'll just fully trust bubba to decide when he wants to come out. I've heard a couple of stories from my friends that they've tried everything possible to trigger labour but baby still decided to come late, and one was even still too stubborn to come out after the mother had been induced!

MUM'S HERE!

My mum has arrived since last Sunday and she's enjoying her time here away from all the house chores back in Indonesia (fyi, she's got three people to feed, mountains of laundry and clothes to be ironed, a big house to clean up, etc). Here? All she does is eat and sleep LOL. I let her help around the house (excuse?) so she actually has something else to do besides sleeping and eating. At least she doesn't have to do laundry and ironing everyday, and my house is fairly small.

As always, mum brought along precious cargo with her: comfort food! Junk food (as per my request) and other food that I can't get here. She also brought along sapu lidi which is a broom made out of the bones of coconut tree leaves bundled together (this really cracks me up!). I was actually worried that she won't be able to converse with the custom officers if they ask her stuff about her belongings. So before mum left for Australia, my sister and I checked all of the stuff that she'd be bringing and needing to declare and taught her how to fill it in. She's now a pro in filling in the custom declaration form and I'm sure she'll be able to travel alone next time.

ENJOYING MY WAITING PERIOD

I have to admit that the last two weeks has been great. Maybe it was a much needed holiday. But I feel bad for mum to have arrived earlier and bubba still doesn't want to come out yet! I managed to finish making my wedding album, which now I have to redo because I just realised that I'm missing some of the photos from my harddisk, after all these years (4 years since my wedding to be exact)! And I finally finished sewing a change pad cover and one blanket for bubba - this was supposed to be only-a-couple-of-hours-job - but it eventually stretches to a couple of days because I had troubles working with the stretchy mink fabric (now I realise I had to get a walking foot for my sewing machine!). I also managed to have some relaxing time to go for some retail therapy - picked up teapots, maternity/breastfeeding bras, went for grocery shopping on a weekday (which is a luxury for me because the shopping centre was not crowded). But I do need to be a bit mindful now that my income is not as steady flowing as before :D.

***

Last words from me: bubba please come out very soon so your Nanny can help me out longer before she needs to leave!

Why You Should Get Married Young

I got married in my early 20's - one month before my 24th birthday, to be exact. Not too early, but by most people's standard nowadays, it is considered quite early. I got married early for plenty of reasons apart from finally finding the perfect match (hopefully), some of it being wanting to be one of the first in my class to get married, getting married before my dad goes for retirement (alhamdulillah he still hasn't and still actively working full time), etc. Now that I've been married for almost four years, there are some benefits that I personally feel by getting married at a young age.

Having A Friend 24/7

It may sound immature, but I always thought being in a marriage means you will always have a friend, in good or bad. I know, I know... being in your early 20s, your life still revolves around your closest friends and it's not wrong. But everyone's got their own lives, priorities, and other things, hence they can't attend to your needs 24/7. But I believe husband and wife indirectly have that obligation towards one another. Compromises might be needed at times, but I'm sure most of the time, you'll have always have a friend there for you.

Be Real with Financials

When you are still young and single, you'll most likely splurge on yourself - fancy dining, designer items, travels, etc. But when you're married and (especially) if you move out from your parents house, that's when financial reality hits. You now have to pay your own rent, utility bills, groceries, etc. I was already pretty frugal and good with savings and financial management before I got married, but I was forced to be even smarter in managing our household financials once I was married. And once we have a mortgage, financial management becomes even trickier as we were just scrambling trying to find savings here and there. This has also opened our eyes that we need more than just savings account, we had to invest. Sometimes I feel like we haven't done our best in building our savings and investment. But when I had a look in our investment and progress saver account, we're actually doing quite well (I'm just too hard on myself most of the time).

"Halal" Relationship

Pacaran? The Indonesian term of "being in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship". For me, it's nothing than just a waste of time, money, and energy with the wrong person. Good on you if you married your long-time "pacar". Unfortunately, it just didn't work for me. I remember thinking, "it must be really stupid if I ended up with someone whom I barely know for more than 6 months". True that. I said "yes" to my husband whom I had known for less than 4 months. And because we've only known each other for less than 4 months, we've decided to extend our "honeymoon phase" after we got married, which eventually lasted for more than 3 years LOL. By being married, I can actually enjoy the relationship we have and feel secure about it. I know I'm going to the movies, dining out, trying new things, and traveling with the right person and not wasting my energy. Sometimes we do have our fight and arguments, but which family doesn't?

Achieving Things Together

I think this is what I love most about our marriage. We get to do stuff together and achieve things together. I love our last trip together to Melbourne. No kids yet, so we get to enjoy the trip like all normal guys-gals relationship. And the best thing about it is that we're halal! So our parents need not to worry about us going on a trip together (duh!). Also, in the past 4 years, we were able to achieve the unthinkables (at least for us): a job (for me), hajj trip, and finally "renting" our own home. It may look like that we "got lucky" to have those opportunities (I'm not saying that we're not lucky), but all of those did come with hard work, sacrifices, faith, and lots of tears. With each ups and downs, husband and I learned that we will always be dependant on each other. And when we're able to achieve things by working together and supporting each other, that's when we know that we're a great team.

***

Not all people may agree with me because everyone's circumstances are different. But I'm just sharing my personal experience and chipping in my two cents :). I know quite plenty of people who got married even younger than me, and their relationship is still going strong. 

Here Comes Maternity Leave!

That day has finally come :) - last day at the office before maternity leave. It feels like I'm going to leave that place forever although I'll only be away for 6-7 months. 

Yesterday was my last day at the office before I officially go into the "waiting period" before bubba arrives. Since morning, I was full-on training my maternity leave cover on my last day, making sure she's on top of everything - or at least get the gist of most of my task. We were quite late when we started the handover three weeks ago as I had a lot to handover and some of the tasks had to be done at a certain time or required certain files from other people. To make matters worse, I wasn't training her full time because she was also training her offshore counterpart and covering her manager who was also on leave at that time. Eventually, we only had around 1-2 hours of training each day for about 3 weeks. It was very unfortunate, because my manager already had everything planned carefully earlier in the year (even I had submitted the training plan back in February!) but that plan just went out of the window.

In the afternoon my colleagues threw me a temporary-farewell party (slash baby shower) as well on my last day. I was gifted baby singlets, jumper, baby toys, and a huge greeting card (thanks everyone!). And on the Monday before, my bird-loving colleague, Katrina, gifted bubba children's books by Australian authors (thank you! will definitely read them to bubba :)). At the party, many were commenting about how my bump is very much facing forward, indicating that it's a boy (well, that's what most people believed). Some were commenting how on Earth I was still able to come into the office although I'm due in two weeks! To be honest, it wasn't easy, especially that my bump is getting bigger and bigger by the day and standing up (from sitting position) is just hard, but I can't imagine myself just staying at home doing nothing.

At the end of the day, I finished training my maternity leave cover at 6pm - just in time when hubby arrived to pick me up. I packed the remainder of my personal belongings (I guess this is why it felt like I'm leaving the company once and for all) and said goodbye to anyone who was still at the office when I exited the building, which is actually not many people, LOL. 

Anyway, now I'm enjoying my quiet Saturday (with no hubby at home as well!). I'm trying to finish the "Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy" book, preparing myself for labour which can happen anytime now. Starting next week, there's no work that I need to think about. Hopefully I don't get the itch to open my work emails now that I have VPN access which means I can basically access the company's server and actually do some work remotely. And hopefully I will have some time to finally finish creating my wedding book (while Blurb is having 40% off) and sewing bubba's blanket before he arrives.

Bread and Butter

Prologue: This post has been sitting in my draft folder for months. I wasn't really sure whether to expose the hardship that I've gone through. But no one's life is perfect, and I think we shouldn't pretend to fake it that everything in our lives is so perfect in social media. So, I thought to myself, "why not just share?"

***

Four years ago when my husband and I started out as a married couple, my husband wasn't even making the average income. And he is not the greatest at managing money either. I still remember how I face-palmed trying hard to understand the justification of his purchase (when he was still single) when I found out that his Macbook Pro worth more than $3000. I thought to myself, "Oh God, how can he be so reckless with his money!?" I didn't have lot of savings as well at that time because when you convert my savings into Australian dollar, it's basically nothing. The money we collected from our wedding, we spend almost all of it for my return flights and my visa application. So, I went from comfortable living in my parents home, to struggling to make ends meet.

I have been having toast and butter almost everyday for the past few weeks. Just felt like having them although bread and butter are not a staple breakfast in our home. Every time I slather the butter onto the warm toast, it brings back memories of how I used to have my bread and butter when we just started out on our own. I consider it as a good reminder of how my life has evolved in the past 4 years, reminder for me to look back to my past and keep myself grounded.

The bread and butter that we used to be able to afford were the Aldi or Coles homebrands. The bread that we normally purchase wasn't fresh from the onsite bakery. And the butter was also cheap - the private label ones. I'm big believer that if you want to have a taste of the best, then you must be ready to pay the price - which translates to usually good stuff are expensive. Since I only buy the cheap ones, I never knew what good bread and butter tasted like. I remember buying the 80 cents bread for my in-laws while they were staying for 3 months because they usually have bread for breakfast. They would say the bread was hard and they would like the Tip Top one (which cost three times the private label).

Fast forward to four years later, we now eat a different bread and butter. My bread is the freshly baked ones from the bakery. I don't go to the bakery aisle anymore where they display breads from bakery companies. And the butter that I eat now is one of the pricier butter you will find in the chiller (but I always get them when they're on sale every 4 weeks or so tho). Every time I see my now-butter and bread, it reminded me how I used to not be able to afford them because I needed to save money and should make do with whatever we can afford. Now I'm quite proud that I can afford good bread for when my in-laws are staying over without needing to feel guilty. It's a beautiful reminder for us as well how a lot has changed for us.

Thank you, God, for the immense blessings that you have showered us with. We are truly grateful for everything you have given us.

Setting The Records Straight

Yesterday I delivered a project report in a monthly project meeting. As usual, I was nervous as hell, so the sentences that came out of my mouth didn't really flow very well. Consequently, the Project Lead misunderstood my words and said, "ok, so well done to the X team for rushing the coding." Then I realised, no, they weren't the heroes... they're actually the one who contributed 80% of this chaos. But then I didn't really take it seriously because it was just mentioned in a project update forum.

This afternoon, an email arrived from the Project Lead and she gave a call out to the X team for their "great job" getting the coding done. I felt that that was totally wrong. Especially because this X team was one of the team who caused most of the headache in the project by not taking things seriously, missing the deadlines, and not getting things right because they weren't proactively seeking for help if things were not clear for them, hence extra time was needed to redo their task.

Without any doubt, I knew I had to do the right thing: extend the call out to the people who really deserve it. I replied to everyone who was sent the Project's Lead email although there were 25 people in the distribution list (including 4 operations leads) and I know my email would be spamming their inbox. But I believe I need to set the records straight. So I wrote back, "I would like to extend the special mention to the A team, B team, C team, and D team for their efforts, working in a very tight timeline, to ensure that the data is delivered by this period."

Again, I don't care if my email is going to spam their inbox. But the A, B, C, and D team deserves an even more special mention compared to the X team.

***

People are always happy and they feel valued when they are appreciated - which should translate to higher productivity. So, I always make sure that I appreciate people for what they do (especially if they've gone above and beyond to help you) and share that appreciation to a bigger group (and involve senior leadership!).

Islammu Nggak Ada Artinya Apabila Durhaka Kepada Ibu

Baru-baru ini saya sangat kesal sekali dan harus menasihati seseorang karena menurutku ia sudah sangat keterlaluan kepada ibunya sendiri. Dengan arogannya dia tidak mau meminta maaf kepada ibunya ketika Idul Fitri lalu dan pernah pula dia nyatakan bahwa dia tidak mau mengurus ibunya nanti ketika beliau sudah tua. Orang tersebut berjilbab dan mengerti agama. Tapi menurutku Islamnya tidak ada artinya apabila ia durhaka kepada ibunya. 

Seperti di blog post yang pernah aku tulis sebelumnya, aku baru merasakan betapa besarnya pengorbanan seorang ibu ketika aku mulai merasakan hamil si kecil. Mungkin orang ini tidak akan pernah mengerti sampai ia sendiri mengalaminya bahwa hal-hal yang dilakukan ibunya semata-mata karena si ibu sayang kepada anaknya, tidak mau melihat anaknya hidup susah. 

Aku ingat ketika aku masih mencari kerja dan gaji suamiku pun pas-pasan untuk memenuhi kebutuhan hidup kita, ibuku menawarkan membiayaiku untuk sekolah lagi. Tawarannya pun kutolak. Aku nggak punya hati untuk merepotkan dia lagi. Sudah cukuplah tanggung jawabnya kepadaku. Aku hanya minta ibu untuk mendoakanku. Ketika ia berkunjung kesini (waktu itu kondisiku sudah jauh lebih baik) dan aku biayai seluruh pengeluarannya selama disini pun ibu masih berkata, "pasti kamu keluar uang banyak ya untuk bayarin mama selama disini. Mama kasian, uangnya kan bisa kamu pakai untuk yang lain. Nanti mama ganti ya." Dan aku bilang, "gak perlu Ma, aku cukup minta didoakan supaya dimudahkan rejekinya. Biar Allah nanti yang ganti." Karena aku tahu ridho dan doa ibu itu luar biasa.

Kalau orang ini sampai sesumbar bilang bahwa dia nggak butuh ibunya, dia salah besar. Karena sepanjang hidupnya dari dia masih di kandungan sampai sekarang dia selalu bergantung kepada ibunya (walaupun mungkin sekarang sudah tidak setergantungan seperti dulu). Mungkin dia sengaja lupa bahwa ketika dia kecil, justru dia yang tidak berdaya, tidak mungkin survive tanpa ibunya. Dan ibunya pun tidak pernah meminta sepeser pun darinya untuk apa yang telah ibunya lakukan untuknya. 

Aku ingatkan kepadanya bahwa doa ibu dan doa orang yang teraniaya itu pasti diijabah oleh Allah, oleh karena itu berhati-hatilah, jangan sampai kamu menyakiti hati ibumu sampai dia mendoakanmu yang tidak baik. Dan juga, selagi masih ada waktu, sebaiknya dia meminta maaf karena umur seseorang tidak ada yang tahu.

Bahaya-bahaya durhaka, azab dan dosa durhaka terhadap orang tua:

1. Haram masuk surga

“Ada tiga jenis orang yang diharamkan Allah masuk surga, yaitu pemabuk berat, pendurhaka terhadap kedua orang tua, dan seorang dayyuts (merelakan kejahatan berlaku dalam keluargannya, merelakan istri dan anak perempuan selingkuh).” (H.R. Nasa’i dan Ahmad).

2. Dimurkai Allah SWT

“keridhaan Allah tergantung keridhaan orang tua, dan murka Allah pun tergantung pada murka kedua orang tua.” (H.R. al-Hakim).

3. Allah tidak menerima shalatnya

“Allah tidak akan menerima shalat orang dibenci kedua orang tuannya yang tidak menganiaya kepadannya.” (H.R.  Abu al-Hasan bin Makruf).

"Ada tiga golongan yang Allah tidak menerima (amal kebajikannya) dari yang sunnah maupun yang fardhu, yaitu durhaka kepada orang tua, orang yang suka mengungkit-ungkit kebaikannya, dan orang yang mendustakan takdir.” (H.R. Thabrani).

4. Dipecat sebagai pengikut nabi SAW

“Bukan termasuk dari golongan kami orang yang diperluas rezekinnya oleh Allah lalu ia kikir dalam menafkahi keluargannya.” (H.R. ad-Dailamy).

5. Mendapat “gelar” kafir 

“Jangan membenci kedua orang tuamu. Barang siapa mengabaikan kedua orang tua, maka dia kafir”. (H.R. Muslim).

6. Balasan azab dengan segera di dunia

Al-Hakim dan Al-Ashbahani, dari Abu Bakar r.a. dari Nabi Saw, beliau bersabda, “Setiap dosa akan diakhirkan oleh Allah sekehendak-Nya sampai hari kiamat, kecuali dosa mendurhakai kedua orang tua. sesungguhnya Allah akan menyegerakan (balasan) kepada pelakunnya didalam hidupnya sebelum mati.”

7. Tidak diampuni dosannya

Dari Aisyah r.a. ia berkata, Rasulullah Saw. Bersabda, “dikatakan kepada orang yang durhaka kepada kedua orang tua, “berbuatlah sekehendakmu, sesungguhnya Aku tidak akan mengampuni. “Dan dikatakan kepada orang yang berbakti kepada orang tua, perbuatlah sekehendakmu, sesungguhnya Aku mengampunimu.” (H.R. Abu Nu’aim).

8. Membatalkan seluruh amal

“ada tiga hal yang menyebabkan terhapusnya seluruh amal, yaitu (a) syirik kepada Allah, (b) durhaka kepada orang tua, (c) seorang alim yang dipermainkan oleh orang dungu dan jahil.” (H.R. Thabrani).

9. Haram mencium aroma surga

Bau surga yang radiusnya sejauh 1000 tahun perjalanan itu tak bisa dirasakan oleh orang durhaka. Benar2 dahsyat. “sesunguhnya aroma surga itu tercium dari jarak perjalanan seribu tahun, dan demi Allah tidak akan mendapatinnya barang siapa yang durhaka dan memutuskan silaturahim.” (H.R.Thabrani).

10. Terputus rezekinnya

“Apabila seseorang tidak meninggalkan doa bagi kedua orang tuannya, maka akan terputus rezekinya” (H.R. Ad-Dailamy). Seseorang yang Tidak mendoakan kedua orang tuanya termasuk kategori orang yang durhaka terhadap orang tuannya. Oleh karena itu, orang tua wajib mendapatkan doa dari anaknya.

11. Orang yg mendapat kerugian besar

“Sungguh kecewa dan hina, sungguh kecewa dan hina, sungguh kecewa dan hina orang yang mendapati atau salah satunnya sampai tua, lantas ia tidak dapat masuk surga.” (H.R. Muslim)

12. Dibenci Allah

“Barang siapa ridha kepada kedua orang tuannya, berarti ia ridha kepada Allah. Dan barang siapa membenci kedua orang tua, sungguh dia membenci Allah.” (H.R. Ibnu An-Najjar).

Source: https://sapta06.wordpress.com/2010/05/22/249/

Ramadan Day 1: My Ramadan Plan

Can't believe Ramadan is here now! I know I haven't preparing this Ramadan quite well this time around because I have been feeling overwhelmed with the pregnancy. Yes, this Ramadan is different than the usual Ramadan for me because I will pregnant while fasting! So I do have to be very mindful of my health and baby's health, hence why planning a routine is very crucial to keep baby healthy and still fasting without any issue.

I can still remember how my last two Ramadan went like - exhausting. Usually in Ramadan I will be all out in giving my best effort in everything e.g. prayer, reading Quran, i'tikaf, tarawih at the masjid, etc. I never mind being too tired because Ramadan is such a precious month that you don't want to pass the time just doing nothing. This is the special time of the year where the rewards of all your deeds are multiplied by multiple multiple times! This year, I have to be very realistic... make sure I don't get too tired so I can still be fasting during the day.

EAT HEALTHY AND DRINK MORE

It is important that your body is getting enough food to feed the baby. Don't worry about gaining weight due to midnight snacks or meals, you have to eat and store some fat so the baby can stay healthy while you're fasting at daytime. I eat a couple of times throughout the evening which consists of snacks and big meals. Because we always break our fast on the road, I always packed a light snack for ifthar, like croissant or bread with chocolate sprinkles. Then when we reach home, we'll have a light meal that doesn't take long to prepare (or you can also make a big batch beforehand to avoid extra cooking time), for example scrambled eggs with red bell peppers or spaghetti bolognaise (eat in small portion of course :)).

And don't forget to drink lots of water because baby needs water to keep his 'home' comfortable and also to keep you hydrated. I'm really bad at ensuring that I drink at least 8 glass of water, but I can get quite close to that. So, I usually drink one glass at ifthar, another glass or two after light meal, another one or two after the big meal or while reading the Quran, another one when doing midnight prayer, and another one at sahoor.

SORRY, I HAVE TO MISS TARAWEEH AT THE MASJID

Taraweeh at the masjid is one of my must-do thing during Ramadhan. I will try my best as much as possible to follow the taraweeh prayer at the masjid. I remember back to when before I got married, usually after work I would run to the nearest masjid from my office follow the taraweeh prayer. And last year I tried to do taraweeh at IQRO as much as possible in the cold winter nights. But because now I'm working full time, pregnant, and I didn't want to get overly tired, I now prefer to have taraweeh prayer at home. Sometimes my husband would become the imam if he couldn't make it to the masjid.

GOAL: KHATAM DURING RAMADAN

This month is one of those crazy month at the office. I'm really afraid I couldn't complete the Quran like last year. Last year I think I was pushing it too hard on trying to do everything at the masjid (taraweeh, listening to the lecture, etc) everyday and at the end I got very exhausted so I wasn't able to keep up with my Quran by the end of Ramadan. It made me really sad and disappointed. So, this year I want to make sure that I khatam the Quran during Ramadan. What I've planned is... while doing taraweeh at home, I will just read the short ayat from the book which this will help me to complete the Quran (it's like sekali menyelam dua-tiga pulau terlampaui). In 8 rakaat I can finish 8 pages, and then the remaining 16 pages I can read throughout the day/evening like after subuh or before bed.

READ QURAN AT TIMES WHEN I'M ALLOWED TO EAT

Perhaps this is only me, but I my throat can get dry easily by reading Quran and I would have to drink after reading a couple of pages or otherwise my reading pace will slow. Also, I tend to get really sleepy when reading, thus if I don't have snacks with me I will just fall asleep. My problem with reading Quran while fasting is that I can't drink or eat! And somehow daytime just pass really fast and I don't quite have time to read during the day due to my workload during this month (like I've mentioned, it's one of the craziest month for me!). So, the only time I have is night time, so I try to complete my juz for the day at night and before fajr.

SHIFTING WORK HOURS

I'm fortunate enough that my workplace is quite flexible. So during Ramadan I opted to come early to the office (8am) and leave early (4pm). Why? Because sunrise is at 7am and there's no point of sleeping again after subuh which is now starts at around 5.30am! So, I thought I'll just leave for office early at 7am. And since we also need to catch up with maghreeb, isha and taraweeh (all within a very short time window!) which is around 5pm - 7pm, it will also be good if we can leave the office early so we don't have to look for a masjid or prayer place while on the road.

***

Planning really helps to achieve your Ramadan goals and helps you to make the most out of your time. Just bear in mind that you have to be realistic. If you're pregnant, don't push yourself too hard because you need to think about the baby too. If you're single, don't forget look after your health, because you don't want to get sick during Ramadan in these winter days as it will definitely affect your ibadah! 

Beratnya Tidak Penting

Buat kamu yang merasa hidup ini penuh permasalahan, beban, berbagai kepelikan, dan lain-lain, coba deh tonton video di atas.

"Sebenarnya, beratnya tidak penting. Beratnya tergantung seberapa lama kita memegang gelas tersebut."

Kalau dipikir-pikir, betul juga ya.  

Jumat lalu aku baru saja menyadari bahwa aku melakukan kesalahan fatal di dalam pekerjaanku. Jalan keluar sebenarnya sudah ditemukan, tapi I still feel bad about going over the project's budget (what budget?). Ada satu hal lagi yang juga masih nyangkut di pikiranku dan ga akan lepas sebelum seseorang itu memberi kepastian. Hmmhh... dan aku harus membawa rasa penasaran itu selama weekend. Rasanya? Nggak enak.

Perkiraan cuaca hari ini dan besok hujan. Nggak memperbaiki mood, pikirku. Tapi kalau rasa penasaran itu aku pendam terus selama weekend, maka habislah waktu santaiku hanya untuk memikirkan pekerjaan yang sebetulnya sudah menyita waktu 40 jam (lebih) dalam seminggu. Jadi apa yang harus aku lakukan? Seperti video di atas, put the glass down. Let it go. 

Masalah akan selalu datang dan pergi - regardless, karena itu lah hidup. Namun penting bagi kita untuk tetap positif dan nggak membiarkan energi kita habis untuk memikirkan hal-hal yang tidak perlu/negatif. Toh rezeki itu sudah ada yang ngatur, bukan? :)

***

What I'm telling myself now: Take a deep breath. Go for a warm shower. Make yourself a cup of tea. Turn on the TV and enjoy the weekend because work can wait til next week. Happy Saturday, world! 

The Right Time For "Us"

Sepulangnya aku dan suami dari meet up dengan teman lama saya, sembari berjalan menuju Central Station, suami berkata, "sometimes I feel ashamed when people asked how long have you been waiting for a kid." Hmmm... sebetulnya kita tidak menunggu lama, hanya saja kami menunda - for four years. Sejak kami (atau lebih tepatnya saya) memutuskan untuk akhirnya it's time for us to try, alhamdulillah kami tidak menunggu lama. Aku pikir wajar saja suami merasa seperti itu, karena terkadang anak adalah kebanggaan tersendiri bagi seorang laki-laki.

***

Sebelum menikah aku sudah merencanakan berapa anak yang aku ingin punya, berapa tahun jeda antara satu anak dengan yang lain, di umur berapa aku ingin berhenti memiliki anak, dan di umur berapa aku harus menikah untuk menjalankan rencanaku itu. Hitung-hitungan ala pelajaran biologi pun aku lakukan. Oke, aku ingin punya tiga anak (cukup untuk mobil sedan, karena ketika punya empat anak otomatis harus upgrade ke 7-seaters, hehe), jeda 2 tahun antar anak, dan selesai melahirkan anak terakhir ketika umurku 30 tahun. Jadi, setelah dilakukan kalkulasi, maka aku harus menikah di umur 24 tahun, dan punya anak pertama ketika aku 25 tahun. Milestone yang pertama sudah sesuai rencana - aku menikah 1-2 bulan sebelum ulang tahunku ke 24. Namun, milestone-milestone selanjutnya jauh meleset dari perencanaan.

***

Awalnya kami menunda karena aku berkata kepada suami, "Masih pingin berdua dulu." Honeymoon dulu lah istilahnya, hehehe. Karena jarak antara kami berkenalan dan kemudian memutuskan untuk menikah tidaklah lama, hanya satu bulan (tetapi resepsi dilangsungkan kira-kira 9 bulan kemudian). Alhamdulillah suami mengerti dan mengizinkan. 

Lalu setelah satu tahun tinggal bersama setelah menikah, aku mulai bosan dan stress karena tak kunjung mendapatkan pekerjaan di Australia. Dan waktu itu aku baru mengetahui bahwa cuti melahirkan di Australia bisa sampai satu tahun, tidak hanya tiga bulan seperti di Indonesia. Tapi kemudian aku baru mengetahui baru-baru ini ternyata aku salah pengertian, rupanya cuti satu tahun itu tidak dibayar (tergantung perusahaan juga sih). Aku berkata kepada suami, "Nanti aku bisa cuti satu tahun ketika punya anak! Lumayan kan dibayar 12 bulan gaji (nah ini dia bagian salah kaprahnya, hihihihi)." Alhamdulillah suami mengerti, mengizinkan, dan bahkan memberi dorongan semangat supaya aku bisa mendapatkan pekerjaan.

Lalu setelah aku mendapatkan pekerjaan sebagai karyawan kontrak, alhamdulillah gajiku selama masa kontrak itu cukup untuk dua orang naik haji. Jadilah aku menawarkan kepada suami apakah dia mau pergi naik haji. Tentu jawabannya mau dong, hehehe. Kemudian kami menunda lagi supaya kami bisa naik haji berdua. Alhamdulillah suami mengerti, mengizinkan, dan Allah pun mengizinkan kami untuk naik haji bersama.

Lalu setelah naik haji, kami memiliki keinginan untuk punya rumah. Di Australia, owning a house is part of the Great Australian Dream. Dan seperti kata orang tua Indonesia pada umumnya, "Nabung lah untuk punya rumah. Kan nggak enak ngontrak terus. Buang-buang uang buat bayarin cicilannya orang lain". Betul juga sih. Ketika kami sedang mencari rumah, kami juga harus menyiapkan dokumen kesiapan pinjaman finansial supaya ketika kami menemukan rumah yang cocok, tidak perlu lama untuk mengurus pinjamannya. Di dalam dokumen tersebut tertera berapa jumlah uang yang boleh kami pinjam setelah diperhitungkan ukuran family size dan pengeluaran-pengeluaran bulanan. Ternyata, ketika ada tambahan tanggungan orang di dalam keluarga (dependents) maka otomatis kemampuan meminjam kita juga akan turun dan bank (atau institusi peminjaman) akan menurukan jumlah uang yang bisa kita pinjam. Aku berkata kepada suami, "Nunggu dulu yuk sampai kita dapat rumah." Alhamdulillah suami mengerti dan mengizinkan.

Lalu setelah mendapatkan rumah, aku mulai berpikir, setelah ini apa lagi ya? Mungkin "anak" adalah jawaban yang paling masuk akal karena ibuku dan mama mertua sudah me-rong-rong minta cucu. Dan ketakutanku untuk menjadi ibu pun muncul kembali. Kalau kemarin-kemarin aku selalu punya alasan untuk menunda, tapi kali ini? Mau bilang, "Nanti ya pas aku udah umur 30? Toh bos-bos ku rata-rata baru punya anak ketika umur 30" atau "Nanti ya pas aku sudah jadi manajer." Hahahaha, minta di-pitesss. Tapi jadi manajer pun nggak ada yang tahu akan membutuhkan waktu berapa lama. 

Jadi, sebetulnya selama ini aku merasa masih terlalu bocah untuk jadi ibu, masih merasa nggak cukup dewasa, masih pingin main-main, dan takut karirku akan mandek. Tapi di lain pihak aku tahu bahwa I'm being unfair to my husband. Dia sudah berbaik hati mengiyakan kemauanku selama bertahun-tahun dan umur dia pun nggak akan akan pernah berkurang (he's getting too old, I know!). Jadi, dengan banyak bismillah dan banyak memohon kepada Allah supaya diberi kemudahan (kemudahan mengurus anak dan keluarga, kemudahan rejeki, kemudahan karir, etc), akhirnya aku memutuskan OK now it's the time. Ready or not, I have to be.

In the end, should I (or we) feel sorry? Not really - or rather I think we shouldn't be. Kemudian aku mengingatkan pada suami bahwa memang kita turut "mengatur" dengan sengaja menunda punya anak, tapi syukuri saja lah apa yang sudah terjadi, toh alhamdulillah kehidupan kita juga cukup berwarna walaupun belum ada anak dan banyak pula kesempatan-kesempatan yang mungkin tidak bisa didapatkan (atau tertunda) setelah memiliki anak - dari aku mendapatkan kerja, kami menunaikan ibadah haji, dan akhirnya berhasil leasing rumah tahun lalu. Alhamdulillah Allah Maha Baik, aku berdoa kepada Allah saat menunaikan haji untuk diberikan anak di saat yang tepat. Mungkin inilah saat yang tepat untuk kami karena kalau Allah bilang sekarang bukan saat yang tepat mungkin aku akan kesulitan untuk conceive. 

***

So, a child is indeed a gift from God karena belum tentu semua orang bisa punya anak. Aku betul-betul bersyukur karena walaupun sempat menunda alhamdulillah Allah berikan kemudahan. Banyak orang yang nggak segan-segan menempuh jalan berliku melalui IVF dan mengeluarkan uang ratusan juta hanya untuk memiliki anak. Jadi inget adik bayi di perut - semoga adik bayi sehat terus sampai lahiran :) , aamiin.

Pregnancy: 28 Week Update

Almost 29 weeks! I'm already in my third trimester now and pregnancy is getting more difficult for me, especially coping with the ever-growing tummy! It's so difficult to sit still for more than 1 hour! But baby's been healthy and active (I can really feel him swimming now!), so that's a good sign.

Several days ago I took the flu vaccination (was told by the doctor that it's ok to take), but unfortunately my body just doesn't take it very well. It was like this as well last year when I fell sick a couple of weeks after I had the flu vaccination. I'm now on my 4th day of suffering the post-flu vaccination side effects and hopefully it will go away soon (because I hate having to lose appetite to eat!).

BACK AND SIDE PAIN

Finally the time of back pain and sleeping issues that everyone has been talking about has come. Any sitting position is not comfortable. I would need to change position or body posture every 30 minutes or so just so I can feel comfortable and continue with my work. On the right side just under my breast hurts a lot as well, especially when I eat too much, hahaha, because I feel like my ever-growing tummy is pulling the skin down especially around that area. And when I walk, sometimes my tailbone and pelvic bone hurt, but I try hard not to waddle like a duck!

I also find it difficult to sleep comfortably. Always tossing and turning. Sleeping on my sides and on my back with pillow support. But most of the time I find sleeping on my back gives the most comfort compared with sleeping on your side (although I read somewhere that it's better to sleep on your left side).

GLUCOSE TEST

Around 27-week I went for glucose test at the Hanley Moir Pathology in Parramatta as that's the closest Hanley Moir from me (I think). It's compulsory to fast before the test (the last meal or food that you can take is around 10pm the night before test). At the clinic, they took my blood 3 times in 1-hour intervals, so in total I was in the clinic for around 2.5 hours. First, they will take the blood before they gave me some sort of sweet drink, then 1 hour after I had the drink, and the third (and last one) was 1 hour after the second. The nurse told me not to vomit the liquid, otherwise we'll need to re-book the test. An hour after consuming the drink, I was already feeling dizzy and wanted to throw up (I guess it's more because I was hungry). Thankfully I always keep a small bottle of Safecare (some sort of eucalyptus oil) which has strong smell so minimise the urge to vomit.

The result of the test was then sent straight away to the hospital, so I didn't need to pick up anything (yay!). I was told by the midwife on Thursday that my glucose looks normal and so does my vitamin D (this is where I get most worried about). However, my haemoglobin was a tad lower than initial. She said, diet can have an effect. So, lets say if you eat red meats and vegetables, it should increase your HB. Does that mean I need to eat more steak?!

WEIGHT GAIN

On Thursday night I just had my regular visit to the midwife. The first test: weighing. The screen of the scale was showing 66 kgs. Oh nooooo!!! I'm supposed to only gain 1 kilo within the last 3 weeks and instead I gained 3 kilos!? What have I done wrong?? Well, I probably did wrong on several occasions like eating bread and butter (LOL) and avocado juice with heaps of condensed milk and sugar even though I really tried to cut off carbs from my dinner.

I posted on my Path account about my weight gain, and you know what response I received from my friends? "It's okay Dita! While you're preggo, it actually looks sexy. I used to gain 27kgs". And another one said, "I gained 26kgs, Dita, haha... Continue!". Oh my God. What kind of encouragement is this!? LOL. I don't want to work extra hard to lose the baby weight. Well, I don't see much "fattening" on my body, so hopefully it's just bubba being big *trying to run away from reality*.

My Sunday 01.05.2016

Cuma pengen bikin random post saja - mendokumentasikan kegiatanku hari ini, yaitu masak-masak! Setiap hari Minggu memang aku agendakan untuk belanja mingguan (kalau hari Sabtu tidak memungkinkan) dan mempersiapkan bumbu masakan untuk digunakan di minggu depan. Walaupun sekarang banyak argumentasi bahwa memasak bukanlah kewajiban istri, melainkan kewajiban suami sebagai 'pemberi nafkah', aku masih merasa menyiapkan makanan adalah kewajiban istri. Eits, jangan salah sangka dulu, jangan-jangan sudah ada yang mikir "kok jadul sekali pemikirannya" hehehe. Menyiapkan makanan dalam konteksku tidak harus masak sendiri, beli lauk atau makanan jadi pun menurutku sudah termasuk menyiapkan makanan untuk suami. Tapi memang ada kepuasan tersendiri apabila aku mampu menyeimbangkan pekerjaan dan urusan rumah. Saat ini si kecil masih di perut, kita coba lihat nanti apakah aku masih bisa juggling semua without dropping the ball.

Hari ini sebetulnya hari terakhir Wonderful Indonesia Festival. Tapi sayangnya aku kurang begitu tertarik untuk pergi karena: 1) suami pagi-pagi pergi marathon sepeda, pasti siang sudah capek dan nggak sanggup untuk jalan-jalan lagi, 2) aku belum masak apapun untuk minggu depan!, 3) rekening kami masih kering karena suami balum transfer sisa pengeluaran dari bulan lalu, hehehe, 4) aku pikir kalau ke Darling Harbour hanya untuk jajan makanan Indonesia, rasanya nggak worth-it karena di komunitas Indonesia banyak yang berjualan makanan-makanan Indonesia seperti sate Padang, pempek, etc. Hahahaha, banyak sekali ya alasannya *jadi malu*. Anyway, akhirnya aku memutuskan untuk stay at home dan memasak.

Hari ini aku berhasil mengeksekusi 3 resep. Harusnya sih 4, tapi sepertinya aku masih sanggup membuat bumbu resep ke-4 di tengah-tengah weekdays nanti. Pertama, saya bikin ayam Kentucky. Tentunya pakai bumbu jadi. Karena minggu lalu punya chicken thigh fillet tapi nggak tahu mau dibuat apa, akhirnya dibuat ayam Kentucky saja. Ayam sudah dibumbui dari beberapa hari lalu dan hari ini cukup digoreng saja. 

Kedua, tiba-tiba aku punya ide untuk menghabiskan sisa bumbu mie Aceh dan mie Hokkien yang entah sudah berapa lama ada di kulkas karena kemarin ketika makan mie goreng di sebuah hajatan, rasanya kok seperti agak mirip rempah mie Aceh. Untungnya daging giling belum sempat beku sepenuhnya, jadi masih bisa aku ambil sebagian untuk dimasak. Tapi bumbu mie Aceh sudah mengering (karena terlalu lama berada di kulkas) dan mie sudah mulai tidak bisa dikonsumsi. Setelah diakal-akali, bumbu mie Aceh dan mie Hokkien akhirnya bisa digunakan untuk memasak. Kemudian aku masak seperti biasa, dan terakhir aku campurkan sambal kecap-limau yang kubuat pagi tadi untuk menambah aroma. Jadilah makanan edible hasil pencampuran sisa-sisa bahan, hahaha. Lumayan untuk tambahan *ding*.

Ketiga, dan terakhir, aku ngidam scones! Setelah Senin kemarin disuguhi traditional scones di tempat kawan dalam rangka catch up and afternoon tea, keesokan harinya sukses ngeces pingin buttermilk scones.  Sudah agak lama tidak buat scones, jadi lupa betapa mudahnya bikin scones! Setelah buka buku resep, ternyata bahannya tidak terlalu ribet. Dan cukup aku tuang semua bahan ke dalam stand mixer-ku dan biarkan mesin yang menguleni hingga empuk. Setelah itu aku hanya perlu untuk menguleni sedikit lagi dengan tangan dan membentuk menjadi bola-bola kecil. Panggang di dalam oven selama 15 menit, dan ta-daaa seisi rumah penuh dengan wangi buttermilk! Ah wanginyaaa. Aku memang suka sekali wangi roti. That is the reason why I love bakeries and bakery section in supermarket! Ketika scones masih hangat, aku siapkan double cream dan selai stroberi sebagai pelengkap - ouuh, yumm! It's like heaven menikmati scones di sore hari ditemani secangkir teh Sosro dingin (hehehe, ini sebetulnya salah, harusnya ditemani teh hangat).

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Yak, sekian cerita masak-masakku hari ini. Nantikan cerita hari Minggu-ku yang lain di post yang akan datang (pede banget). See you :)

Pregnancy: 24 Week Update

Oh gosh! I can't believe I'm already at the end of my 24th week now! I have already passed half way and soon I'll be off for maternity leave.

BODY CHANGES

Of course my body is changing, rapidly. The stomach feels tighter and tighter by the day, it's as if I'm going to explode. Some people at the office still couldn't tell that I'm pregnant because of the way I wear my hijab which hides my baby curves and also because most of my clothes are baggy/loose, which is  a plus because I don't have to buy maternity clothes! I have retired all my pants and my jeans skirt. And instead, took out all of my skirts and stretchy pants (which I rarely use because I hated it, but now I love them a lot).

I've gained around 4-5 kilos by the end of this week. I'm a bit worried how much more I would gain because I still have another 3 months to go. Baby needs to grow even more, but I can't gain more than 14 kilos by the end of my pregnancy! I guess now it's really time to get myself moving. I think my diet is already good. I eat carbs only for breakfast and lunch, and when I'm still hungry at night I fulfilled my hunger with fruits - really trying my best to cut the carbs by dinner. But I definitely failed at exercising, hahaha.

My appetite is definitely back. I am much more happier now that I can eat and drink anything I want. But I do need to watch my diet and exercise so I don't 'expand' too much! I've also realised that I don't eat as much fruit as I used to anymore since my appetite's return, so I also need to work on that as well. Milk has been on my list daily now that I want bubba to get used to it (I don't even know whether it would make any difference!).

Face-wise, no (or hardly) any pimples! But I can tell that my skin is much drier than it normally is. I have heard a couple of times that if the face skin is dry during the pregnancy it usually signals a baby boy - that's one of the reason why I was quite convinced that this bubba is a boy. I just need to religiously use face cream everyday. My current favourite is the Nivea Soft moisturising cream (I ran out of Kiehl's but have just reordered the large size).

FIRST DOCTOR VISIT

Two weeks ago we were due for our first doctor's visit. Our original appointment was at 9 am but I didn't get called in until 10 am when I checked with the nurse who collected my urine sample. She said, "oh sorry, we must have skipped you!" I was a bit annoyed because I was planning to return to the office at 11am, which then got delayed until 12pm.

The doctor's appointment only lasted around 10 minutes. She checked my health records which was taken by the midwife from the previous meeting and also asked whether I have started to feel the baby's moves. I also informed her of my previous breast surgery, just in case I need to do any follow up in regards to breastfeeding. The doctor advised me that this will be my first and (perhaps) my last appointment with the doctor before labour. My regular biweekly check will be with the midwife, not the doctor, because my pregnancy is quite normal and there is nothing to be closely observed by the doctor, unless something comes up along the way.

After the doctor's visit, we received counseling from the maternity ward liaison officer. Not everyone gets it, because there are so many people to counsel sometimes they would miss a couple of them. Basically the officer needs to explain thoroughly about a list of topics listed on a red card, such as having the appropriate support after birth, importance of attending parental class, . This red card will eventually be handed to you at the end of the session. At first, this officer of Asian decent touched on how it is different from the care that we would received from our home country. She said, "The health system here is very different from our country, I know because your country and my country is almost similar. We don't need to pay for any of these maternity services. I was like, uhmmm, of course I know that. It's not like I just came out of rural area in Indonesia who knows nothing. Anyway, this lady talks a lot, I guess it's for a good thing, but she made me even more late to arrive at the office.

BABY'S KICKS

Like I mentioned previously, the doctor asked me whether I have started to feel the baby's kicks. I hesitantly told her "no" because I wasn't even sure how it feels like! She said, "Well, people have told me that it feels like butterfly in your stomach. But I don't know how it feels like too because I've never been pregnant before." I said, "I'm not sure how 'butterfly in your stomach' feels like either..." She took me to the bed to check bubba's heart beat. Alhamdulillah, it's there. Phewww. Then she said that if I don't feel anything by week 24, then let the hospital know.

I was already so excited to feel baby's kicks since the nurse who helped our 19-week scan said that she felt baby's soft kick. Unfortunately I had to have the disappointment that it took me a while to actually feel it. I have a thick rhino skin!

On the following week after the doctor's visit, I started to feel baby's little kicks, especially at night. It feels so funny and amazing at the same time! It's like having a fish bowl in your tummy! I began talking more often to him, reminding him to be careful while 'playing' inside. Last night baby was especially active, it's like he's having a blast at his own party! He was kicking here and there, making the surface of my stomach vibrate, hahaha. Can't wait to see you soon, bubba.

My Own Pace

Beberapa minggu yang lalu akhirnya aku mendapatkan konfirmasi - lampu hijau - dari manajerku bahwa memang sudah waktunya aku untuk menambah responsibility dan menghadapi challenge baru. Lucunya, manajerku sempat bilang, "Dita, aku tahu kamu udah bosen dengen kerjaanmu yang sekarang." Hahaha. Alhamdulillah senangnya bukan main, karena aku sendiri pun sudah mulai merasa bahwa aku siap untuk step selanjutnya. Tapi apa daya mungkin belum rezekiku, belum ada posisi kosong yang bisa aku isi untuk 'naik'. Ditambah dengan perut yang semakin buncit which means sebentar lagi akan masuk maternity leave maka semakin kecil lah kesempatanku, although it's not impossible. Aku bukan tipe orang yang diam saja menunggu. Aku juga proaktif mencari posisi lowong untuk bisa 'naik' dan lagi-lagi aku harus kecewa, kali ini karena HR. Katanya aku tidak punya cukup pengalaman untuk bisa mengisi posisi yang aku incar. Hmm... padahal kupikir I'm more than capable, just need a bit of training and that's it. 

Dan dengan umur kehamilan yang inshaaAllah tinggal 3 bulan lagi, rasanya ingin menyerah. Rasanya sudah capek mengejar sesuatu yang kemungkinan tak tergapai sebelum cuti. Tapi aku nggak mau berakhir seperti orang di gambar di bawah. Setidaknya nggak ada penyesalan di akhir karena tidak mengusahakan yang terbaik.

“Feet Away From Gold'” Courtesy of Google Images

MY LIFE IS NOT SOMEONE ELSE'S

I guess, aku selalu lupa bahwa hidupku adalah hidupku. Tidak serta merta bisa dibandingkan dengan kehidupan orang lain, apalagi pencapaiannya. Aku sering merasa down ketika melihat teman-teman sebayaku sudah naik jadi manajer, sudah pergi ke luar negeri untuk menyelesaikan S2, etc dan aku masih stuck disini dan tidak ada tanda-tanda bisa melanjutkan S2 dengan beasiswa (dikarenakan kondisi kami yang domisili tetapnya di Australia, kami berdua sama-sama bekerja, daaann kami punya mortgage *alhamdulillah?*).

Ketika aku trace back 'udah ngapain aja sih aku sejak lulus kuliah?', aku baru sadar I'm behind my peers by two years in terms of work experience. Nggak banyak juga yang bisa aku perbuat, karena keterlambatan ini dikarenakan dua kesempatan yang nggak aku sesali: 1. spending one year in Japan, 2. getting married and getting my Australian permanent visa. Wajar aja kalau aku akhirnya terlalu ngoyo untuk mengejar 'ketertinggalanku', tapi lambat laun aku sadar bahwa aku harus mawas diri - I'm already two years behind, I cannot ask a lot. Yang bisa aku lakukan adalah berusaha sebaik mungkin mengambil setiap kesempatan yang ada, bekerja keras dan cerdas, kemudian biarkan tangan Tuhan yang menentukan hasil akhirnya. Ya, mungkin aku lupa bahwa tangan Tuhan juga punya andil sama besarnya (bahkan lebih) dari ikhtiar yang aku lakukan dalam menentukan outcome.

STOP LOOKING UP!

Ini nih yang paling susah, aku akui - keeping up with the Kardashians eh, Joneses! Mengejar dunia itu nggak akan ada habisnya. Akan selalu ada orang lain yang lebih baik, lebih cantik, lebih sukses, lebih kaya, dan lebih lebih semuanya dari kamu. Dan you know what, social media zaman sekarang hanya memperparah penyakit envious ini dan membuat orang semakin greedy (hello Youtube haul videos!) - that's why I do socmed detox.

Setiap kali melihat orang lain sukses misalnya si A baru aja dipromosiin jadi manajer, si B baru aja ikut training BPI Green Belt, si C baru beli ini-itu baru, terkadang yang ada di kepalaku, "ya Tuhan, kenapa bukan aku? When will my time come?". Akhirnya aku sadar aku nggak pernah tau cerita di belakang itu semua. Mungkin aja orang itu dipromosiin jadi manajer setelah memiliki 6 years of working experience (which I don't have yet), atau ternyata orang yang ikut training BPI Green Belt itu udah begging a million times ke manajernya untuk diikutkan (oh, berarti selama ini aku kurang kekeuh 'mintanya', hehe), dan mungkin orang yang sering beli ini-itu nggak punya kewajiban finansial seperti kamu. Focus on what you have, not what you don't have.

I WANT TO BE CONTENT

Mau tau nggak (nggak mauuuu, hehe) salah satu doa yang paling banyak aku sebut? Dear God, I want to be content with my life. That simple! Saking aku nggak pernah puas sama kehidupanku sendiri dan akhirnya capek sendiri ngejar dunia. Aku pingin bisa menikmati semua dengan santai, menggapai keberhasilan at my own pace. Nggak terburu-buru atau ngoyo harus achieve karena melihat orang lain sudah achieve duluan. Sebetulnya, kalau dipikir-pikir, andaikan ada posisi kosong yang bisa aku isi untuk 'naik', it means aku bisa mencapai posisi itu hanya dengan 4 tahun working experience! Dan buatku itu udah bagus banget. Terakhir, aku percaya bahwa Tuhan tahu mana dan kapan waktu yang terbaik. Yang aku harus lakukan hanya berusaha sebaik mungkin, nggak patah semangat, dan nggak berhenti berdoa. Ketika hal-hal itu lekat di hati dan kepalaku, that's when I can really enjoy life... karena hal-hal duniawi nggak akan dibawa ke kubur.