Ramadan Day 14: Tips for Fasting While Pregnant

Alhamdulillah we're entering the second half of Ramadan now and alhamdulillah bubba is still very cooperative while I fast.

I do often get questioned, "do you still fast even though you're pregnant?". I understand their concerns, especially from people outside of Islam, but the answer is yes, of course. BUT if you're not strong enough until the time to break your fast or concerned with the baby's well being, then you may not fast." So, there are conditions that needs to be met before you can break your fast before Maghreeb time, which are:

• Mother not strong enough - for example: you would often vomited, felt dizzy, feeling like you're going to faint, etc
• Concerned with baby's well being - for example: baby is not moving a lot

This year, in Sydney we only fast for less than 12 hours and weather is cool enough not to make you overly exhausted - so I'm very thankful of that. Sometimes I do get tempted to break my fast when my stomach growls and I would start getting sleepy around 11am. But usually all I need is a bit of walking and a trip to the washroom, and I should feel better. Baby's still moving around actively, so that also gave me a peace of mind to continue with my fast.

Some tips that I could share with fellow mommies to be for fasting in Ramadan while you're pregnant are:

• Make sure you have suhoor. This is a must! Preferrably with something that can make you full for the whole day - so, carbs is a must. An ideal balanced breakfast/suhoor should consist of 50% carbohydrate, 30% protein, and 10-20% fat. Don't worry, I don't really follow this :D as long as I eat one portion of food, no less.
• Drink a lot of water. It is highly recommended - a must, in fact - that pregnant women have enough water/fluid intake. Just because you're fasting, doesn't mean you're allowed to drunk less water. Plan your water intake throughout the night, make sure you and baby are always hydrated.
• Take your supplements. I remember before I even got pregnant, I used to feel very tired everyday, until one day I decided to purchase the Blackmores Stress Relief capsules (because I thought it could help reduce the stress). That supplement worked wonders on me. So, since then, I promised myself to regularly take supplements to improve my stamina throughout the day. While you're pregnant, obviously you will need extra energy for you and the baby, so don't skip on your pregnancy supplements!
• Don't get too tired. Look after yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else. Remember that now you have a precious cargo in your belly that you have to take extra care of. So, don't push yourself too hard to achieve your Ramadan goals (well that's if you're making ambitious goals). I'm already way off track with my tilawah, but I have to be mindful of the baby. You don't want baby to get too tired then decided to come out early!
• Break your fast as soon as possible. Baby needs food after a day of fasting! And this is actually the sunnah, so I think no further explanation needed :). Just make sure you have something sweet to boost your sugar level.

Ramadan Day 7: Giving of Alms

Based on the article published in Huff Post in 2013 (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/07/21/muslims-give-most_n_3630830.html), Muslims are the most generous, ahead of Christians and Jews. Why? The answer is simple... because giving charity is prescribed in our religion and also in our religion there is an "obligatory" alms called zakat. Please note that it is OBLIGATORY :).

THE POOR OWNS SOME OF OUR WEALTH

In Islam, we are taught that within the wealth that we own, the poor owns some part of it. The poor have rights over some part of our wealth. If we don't pay our share of alms, how else can the poor access their rights if we don't open the way? Think of it this way, not everyone is born privileged. When we were born, we can't choose our family, our parents, the environment, etc. Some people will be born into low socio-economic family, while some others are luckier to be born into wealthy families. Don't say that poor people need to work their a** off to be rich. Some people may achieve success through a combination of hard work, perseverance, and miracle; but some people just can't no matter how hard they try. So, try to put yourself in other people's shoes. Giving alms will not make you poor. In fact, it will make you richer - mentally and financially.

ALMS IS THE BEST INVESTMENT

Allah himself has promised, if someone want to give alms  then surely Allah will replace it with a minimal amount of 10 (ten) times . And that is written in the Qur'an Surah : 6 , Verse : 160 , where Allah promises a return of 10 fold for those who want to do good . Even in the Qur'an Surat: 2 , Verse : 261 , God promised a reply to 700 folds.

Allah's maths is beyond our logic and I think it's the best investment you could ever make. In Allah's maths, if you think 10 - 1 = 9, then you're incorrect. It should be 10 - 1 = 19, the result is based on the statement that Allah with replace with minimal amount of 10 times. If you invest or deposit your money in the bank, bank will only give you return of 10% at most. You can get more returns if you invest your money in foreign exchange or shares, but the risk is also very high. But if you invest in the bank of Allah, you will be guaranteed a minimum ROI of 1000% and with no risk at all. In order to make this work, there is one key thing that you must do: keep your faith in Him. Sometimes you can get the return immediately, sometimes you have to wait. And sometimes you get the return in the form of money or wealth, and some other time you're protected from bad things. Either way, you will definitely still profit. Just remember that He always keeps His promises.

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So, after reading this, do you still want to pile up your money in the bank? Think again ;)

Ramadan Day 1: My Ramadan Plan

Can't believe Ramadan is here now! I know I haven't preparing this Ramadan quite well this time around because I have been feeling overwhelmed with the pregnancy. Yes, this Ramadan is different than the usual Ramadan for me because I will pregnant while fasting! So I do have to be very mindful of my health and baby's health, hence why planning a routine is very crucial to keep baby healthy and still fasting without any issue.

I can still remember how my last two Ramadan went like - exhausting. Usually in Ramadan I will be all out in giving my best effort in everything e.g. prayer, reading Quran, i'tikaf, tarawih at the masjid, etc. I never mind being too tired because Ramadan is such a precious month that you don't want to pass the time just doing nothing. This is the special time of the year where the rewards of all your deeds are multiplied by multiple multiple times! This year, I have to be very realistic... make sure I don't get too tired so I can still be fasting during the day.

EAT HEALTHY AND DRINK MORE

It is important that your body is getting enough food to feed the baby. Don't worry about gaining weight due to midnight snacks or meals, you have to eat and store some fat so the baby can stay healthy while you're fasting at daytime. I eat a couple of times throughout the evening which consists of snacks and big meals. Because we always break our fast on the road, I always packed a light snack for ifthar, like croissant or bread with chocolate sprinkles. Then when we reach home, we'll have a light meal that doesn't take long to prepare (or you can also make a big batch beforehand to avoid extra cooking time), for example scrambled eggs with red bell peppers or spaghetti bolognaise (eat in small portion of course :)).

And don't forget to drink lots of water because baby needs water to keep his 'home' comfortable and also to keep you hydrated. I'm really bad at ensuring that I drink at least 8 glass of water, but I can get quite close to that. So, I usually drink one glass at ifthar, another glass or two after light meal, another one or two after the big meal or while reading the Quran, another one when doing midnight prayer, and another one at sahoor.

SORRY, I HAVE TO MISS TARAWEEH AT THE MASJID

Taraweeh at the masjid is one of my must-do thing during Ramadhan. I will try my best as much as possible to follow the taraweeh prayer at the masjid. I remember back to when before I got married, usually after work I would run to the nearest masjid from my office follow the taraweeh prayer. And last year I tried to do taraweeh at IQRO as much as possible in the cold winter nights. But because now I'm working full time, pregnant, and I didn't want to get overly tired, I now prefer to have taraweeh prayer at home. Sometimes my husband would become the imam if he couldn't make it to the masjid.

GOAL: KHATAM DURING RAMADAN

This month is one of those crazy month at the office. I'm really afraid I couldn't complete the Quran like last year. Last year I think I was pushing it too hard on trying to do everything at the masjid (taraweeh, listening to the lecture, etc) everyday and at the end I got very exhausted so I wasn't able to keep up with my Quran by the end of Ramadan. It made me really sad and disappointed. So, this year I want to make sure that I khatam the Quran during Ramadan. What I've planned is... while doing taraweeh at home, I will just read the short ayat from the book which this will help me to complete the Quran (it's like sekali menyelam dua-tiga pulau terlampaui). In 8 rakaat I can finish 8 pages, and then the remaining 16 pages I can read throughout the day/evening like after subuh or before bed.

READ QURAN AT TIMES WHEN I'M ALLOWED TO EAT

Perhaps this is only me, but I my throat can get dry easily by reading Quran and I would have to drink after reading a couple of pages or otherwise my reading pace will slow. Also, I tend to get really sleepy when reading, thus if I don't have snacks with me I will just fall asleep. My problem with reading Quran while fasting is that I can't drink or eat! And somehow daytime just pass really fast and I don't quite have time to read during the day due to my workload during this month (like I've mentioned, it's one of the craziest month for me!). So, the only time I have is night time, so I try to complete my juz for the day at night and before fajr.

SHIFTING WORK HOURS

I'm fortunate enough that my workplace is quite flexible. So during Ramadan I opted to come early to the office (8am) and leave early (4pm). Why? Because sunrise is at 7am and there's no point of sleeping again after subuh which is now starts at around 5.30am! So, I thought I'll just leave for office early at 7am. And since we also need to catch up with maghreeb, isha and taraweeh (all within a very short time window!) which is around 5pm - 7pm, it will also be good if we can leave the office early so we don't have to look for a masjid or prayer place while on the road.

***

Planning really helps to achieve your Ramadan goals and helps you to make the most out of your time. Just bear in mind that you have to be realistic. If you're pregnant, don't push yourself too hard because you need to think about the baby too. If you're single, don't forget look after your health, because you don't want to get sick during Ramadan in these winter days as it will definitely affect your ibadah! 

Beratnya Tidak Penting

Buat kamu yang merasa hidup ini penuh permasalahan, beban, berbagai kepelikan, dan lain-lain, coba deh tonton video di atas.

"Sebenarnya, beratnya tidak penting. Beratnya tergantung seberapa lama kita memegang gelas tersebut."

Kalau dipikir-pikir, betul juga ya.  

Jumat lalu aku baru saja menyadari bahwa aku melakukan kesalahan fatal di dalam pekerjaanku. Jalan keluar sebenarnya sudah ditemukan, tapi I still feel bad about going over the project's budget (what budget?). Ada satu hal lagi yang juga masih nyangkut di pikiranku dan ga akan lepas sebelum seseorang itu memberi kepastian. Hmmhh... dan aku harus membawa rasa penasaran itu selama weekend. Rasanya? Nggak enak.

Perkiraan cuaca hari ini dan besok hujan. Nggak memperbaiki mood, pikirku. Tapi kalau rasa penasaran itu aku pendam terus selama weekend, maka habislah waktu santaiku hanya untuk memikirkan pekerjaan yang sebetulnya sudah menyita waktu 40 jam (lebih) dalam seminggu. Jadi apa yang harus aku lakukan? Seperti video di atas, put the glass down. Let it go. 

Masalah akan selalu datang dan pergi - regardless, karena itu lah hidup. Namun penting bagi kita untuk tetap positif dan nggak membiarkan energi kita habis untuk memikirkan hal-hal yang tidak perlu/negatif. Toh rezeki itu sudah ada yang ngatur, bukan? :)

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What I'm telling myself now: Take a deep breath. Go for a warm shower. Make yourself a cup of tea. Turn on the TV and enjoy the weekend because work can wait til next week. Happy Saturday, world! 

The Right Time For "Us"

Sepulangnya aku dan suami dari meet up dengan teman lama saya, sembari berjalan menuju Central Station, suami berkata, "sometimes I feel ashamed when people asked how long have you been waiting for a kid." Hmmm... sebetulnya kita tidak menunggu lama, hanya saja kami menunda - for four years. Sejak kami (atau lebih tepatnya saya) memutuskan untuk akhirnya it's time for us to try, alhamdulillah kami tidak menunggu lama. Aku pikir wajar saja suami merasa seperti itu, karena terkadang anak adalah kebanggaan tersendiri bagi seorang laki-laki.

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Sebelum menikah aku sudah merencanakan berapa anak yang aku ingin punya, berapa tahun jeda antara satu anak dengan yang lain, di umur berapa aku ingin berhenti memiliki anak, dan di umur berapa aku harus menikah untuk menjalankan rencanaku itu. Hitung-hitungan ala pelajaran biologi pun aku lakukan. Oke, aku ingin punya tiga anak (cukup untuk mobil sedan, karena ketika punya empat anak otomatis harus upgrade ke 7-seaters, hehe), jeda 2 tahun antar anak, dan selesai melahirkan anak terakhir ketika umurku 30 tahun. Jadi, setelah dilakukan kalkulasi, maka aku harus menikah di umur 24 tahun, dan punya anak pertama ketika aku 25 tahun. Milestone yang pertama sudah sesuai rencana - aku menikah 1-2 bulan sebelum ulang tahunku ke 24. Namun, milestone-milestone selanjutnya jauh meleset dari perencanaan.

***

Awalnya kami menunda karena aku berkata kepada suami, "Masih pingin berdua dulu." Honeymoon dulu lah istilahnya, hehehe. Karena jarak antara kami berkenalan dan kemudian memutuskan untuk menikah tidaklah lama, hanya satu bulan (tetapi resepsi dilangsungkan kira-kira 9 bulan kemudian). Alhamdulillah suami mengerti dan mengizinkan. 

Lalu setelah satu tahun tinggal bersama setelah menikah, aku mulai bosan dan stress karena tak kunjung mendapatkan pekerjaan di Australia. Dan waktu itu aku baru mengetahui bahwa cuti melahirkan di Australia bisa sampai satu tahun, tidak hanya tiga bulan seperti di Indonesia. Tapi kemudian aku baru mengetahui baru-baru ini ternyata aku salah pengertian, rupanya cuti satu tahun itu tidak dibayar (tergantung perusahaan juga sih). Aku berkata kepada suami, "Nanti aku bisa cuti satu tahun ketika punya anak! Lumayan kan dibayar 12 bulan gaji (nah ini dia bagian salah kaprahnya, hihihihi)." Alhamdulillah suami mengerti, mengizinkan, dan bahkan memberi dorongan semangat supaya aku bisa mendapatkan pekerjaan.

Lalu setelah aku mendapatkan pekerjaan sebagai karyawan kontrak, alhamdulillah gajiku selama masa kontrak itu cukup untuk dua orang naik haji. Jadilah aku menawarkan kepada suami apakah dia mau pergi naik haji. Tentu jawabannya mau dong, hehehe. Kemudian kami menunda lagi supaya kami bisa naik haji berdua. Alhamdulillah suami mengerti, mengizinkan, dan Allah pun mengizinkan kami untuk naik haji bersama.

Lalu setelah naik haji, kami memiliki keinginan untuk punya rumah. Di Australia, owning a house is part of the Great Australian Dream. Dan seperti kata orang tua Indonesia pada umumnya, "Nabung lah untuk punya rumah. Kan nggak enak ngontrak terus. Buang-buang uang buat bayarin cicilannya orang lain". Betul juga sih. Ketika kami sedang mencari rumah, kami juga harus menyiapkan dokumen kesiapan pinjaman finansial supaya ketika kami menemukan rumah yang cocok, tidak perlu lama untuk mengurus pinjamannya. Di dalam dokumen tersebut tertera berapa jumlah uang yang boleh kami pinjam setelah diperhitungkan ukuran family size dan pengeluaran-pengeluaran bulanan. Ternyata, ketika ada tambahan tanggungan orang di dalam keluarga (dependents) maka otomatis kemampuan meminjam kita juga akan turun dan bank (atau institusi peminjaman) akan menurukan jumlah uang yang bisa kita pinjam. Aku berkata kepada suami, "Nunggu dulu yuk sampai kita dapat rumah." Alhamdulillah suami mengerti dan mengizinkan.

Lalu setelah mendapatkan rumah, aku mulai berpikir, setelah ini apa lagi ya? Mungkin "anak" adalah jawaban yang paling masuk akal karena ibuku dan mama mertua sudah me-rong-rong minta cucu. Dan ketakutanku untuk menjadi ibu pun muncul kembali. Kalau kemarin-kemarin aku selalu punya alasan untuk menunda, tapi kali ini? Mau bilang, "Nanti ya pas aku udah umur 30? Toh bos-bos ku rata-rata baru punya anak ketika umur 30" atau "Nanti ya pas aku sudah jadi manajer." Hahahaha, minta di-pitesss. Tapi jadi manajer pun nggak ada yang tahu akan membutuhkan waktu berapa lama. 

Jadi, sebetulnya selama ini aku merasa masih terlalu bocah untuk jadi ibu, masih merasa nggak cukup dewasa, masih pingin main-main, dan takut karirku akan mandek. Tapi di lain pihak aku tahu bahwa I'm being unfair to my husband. Dia sudah berbaik hati mengiyakan kemauanku selama bertahun-tahun dan umur dia pun nggak akan akan pernah berkurang (he's getting too old, I know!). Jadi, dengan banyak bismillah dan banyak memohon kepada Allah supaya diberi kemudahan (kemudahan mengurus anak dan keluarga, kemudahan rejeki, kemudahan karir, etc), akhirnya aku memutuskan OK now it's the time. Ready or not, I have to be.

In the end, should I (or we) feel sorry? Not really - or rather I think we shouldn't be. Kemudian aku mengingatkan pada suami bahwa memang kita turut "mengatur" dengan sengaja menunda punya anak, tapi syukuri saja lah apa yang sudah terjadi, toh alhamdulillah kehidupan kita juga cukup berwarna walaupun belum ada anak dan banyak pula kesempatan-kesempatan yang mungkin tidak bisa didapatkan (atau tertunda) setelah memiliki anak - dari aku mendapatkan kerja, kami menunaikan ibadah haji, dan akhirnya berhasil leasing rumah tahun lalu. Alhamdulillah Allah Maha Baik, aku berdoa kepada Allah saat menunaikan haji untuk diberikan anak di saat yang tepat. Mungkin inilah saat yang tepat untuk kami karena kalau Allah bilang sekarang bukan saat yang tepat mungkin aku akan kesulitan untuk conceive. 

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So, a child is indeed a gift from God karena belum tentu semua orang bisa punya anak. Aku betul-betul bersyukur karena walaupun sempat menunda alhamdulillah Allah berikan kemudahan. Banyak orang yang nggak segan-segan menempuh jalan berliku melalui IVF dan mengeluarkan uang ratusan juta hanya untuk memiliki anak. Jadi inget adik bayi di perut - semoga adik bayi sehat terus sampai lahiran :) , aamiin.