Pregnancy: 20 Week Update

Bubba is 20 weeks now! Can't believe time flew so fast and we're already half way through the journey.

HOSPITAL/MIDWIFE VISIT

On week 16, we finally visited the hospital for the first midwife visit after a month delay since my 12-week scan. I'm such a lazy mother, lol, for not picking up bubba's scan result on time.

I was referred to the Westmead Hospital as that is the closest hospital from our home. I had high expectation of the hospital. I thought it would be as nice as the Liverpool hospital because the one in Liverpool has just been renovated. The hospital was okay, I guess, but I won't have it any other way.

The visit lasted for 2 hours, more or less. I was told to do the Postnatal depression test (Edinburgh scale) and the midwife did a thorough interview about my medical background.

I had seen the Postnatal Depression test before, but I think I haven't tried to complete it. So, basically the nurse will ask you to select the most appropriate answers that applies to you within the past week. You can have a look at the questions here. I scored low on the test, which is good because the lower your score the better. I remember I was pretty happy on the previous week. And when I had completed the test, I thought to myself, "if I had completed this test when I was still having my nausea I would have scored much much worse. And also, perhaps if I didn't have a job I would have scored higher as well."

At the end of the appointment, the midwife gave me instructions on what the next steps were, such as getting the 20-week scan, coming for the doctor's appointment, booking the Parental and breastfeeding class.

19-WEEK SCAN

I booked in the 19-week scan on the week after the midwife visit. I had learned my lesson, twice in fact, that you have to book in scan appointment waaayy ahead.

There is actually this place which provides health scan service and they also do bulk billing very close to our place. I don't know why we always go to that rude and always full scan place in Auburn *knock on the head*, I think because it's so close to our family GP. This time around we decided to try this new place called Medscan.

I had my scan on my 19 week and 3 days. The scan lasted for around 30 minutes to 1 hour. The nurse was checking everything (literally) to make sure all of the organs are present and no fingers are missing! I think this was the best scan so far because bubba is already looking like a human. Bubba was sucking his thumb when the nurse was trying to count his fingers and we had a bit of trouble finding his legs because bubba wasn't moving a lot. The nurse had to shake my tummy a couple of times to 'wake' Bubba up. It was cute.

We also found out Bubba's gender in the scan. InshaaAllah we're having a BOY! I'm so thrilled for my husband and mum-in-law. I'm not playing favourites, but if I did prefer a boy for my first because my mum in law already had two granddaughters from my sister-in-law so I thought it would be great if this one is a boy to complete her grandchildren.

HOW LIFE IS GOING

Life is much better now. I'm much less exhausted, I don't eat a lot like in my first trimester, I can drink plain water again (this is a big relief for me!), I'm much happier as well. Our family has become a regular fruit eater now thanks to my pregnancy because in my first trimester all I wanted is cold and sweet food hence we always stock up on fruits. I think the most important thing for me now is to stay happy so bubba is also happy and healthy.

I know we're not supposed to do this yet, but I have started baby shopping haha. Not too much, just the essentials for newborns. No clothes, swaddles, socks, or baby gloves shopping as I'm planning to have my mum bring them from Indonesia. I purchased several flannelette fabrics with too-cute prints to sew into blankets. Carseat, pram, nursing pillow, baby carrier, and breastpump had also been taken care of. In my culture you're not supposed to go baby shopping before your pregnancy is 7 months. But discounts are not always around, so when we find a bargain then we'll purchase. Now that I had purchased most of my essentials, I can just sit back, relax, and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy.

Landline

Georgie McCool knows her marriage is in trouble; it has been in trouble for a long time. She still loves her husband, Neal, and Neal still loves her, deeply — but that almost seems beside the point now. 

Maybe that was always beside the point. 

Two days before they’re supposed to visit Neal’s family in Omaha for Christmas, Georgie tells Neal that she can’t go. She’s a TV writer, and something’s come up on her show; she has to stay in Los Angeles. She knows that Neal will be upset with her — Neal is always a little upset with Georgie — but she doesn't expect him to pack up the kids and go home without her. 

When her husband and the kids leave for the airport, Georgie wonders if she’s finally done it. If she’s ruined everything. 

That night, Georgie discovers a way to communicate with Neal in the past. It’s not time travel, not exactly, but she feels like she’s been given an opportunity to fix her marriage before it starts... 

Is that what she’s supposed to do?

Or would Georgie and Neal be better off if their marriage never happened?

***

I first discovered this book whilst looking for a good book to send to one of my "Pay-It-Forward" recipients. This book made it into the Goodreads Choice 2014 Winner's list for Fiction books. What attracted me to this book is the idea of a magic phone that connects the caller (in this case, Georgie McCool, the main character) to the past. Hmmm... sounds like some type of Korean drama. So I did expect a really interesting read.

I like books that are easy to understand and follow through. And I also like books that I can't put down (except if I got really sleepy). I think Rainbow Rowell delivered on those points. Sometimes the jump between the past and the present were kind of confusing, but I'm good with most of the transitions.

The story itself is really interesting and I could somewhat relate with my own life (not that me and husband had a fight where he left and didn't pick up my call at all). What I'm trying to say is that readers could be encouraged to look into their own relationship and give a deep thought about it whilst reading through this book. Well, if it doesn't apply to you, it did apply to me :). While Georgie was trying to appreciate what Neal has done in the past, it made me think about all the things that my husband did for me as well. To be honest, Neal is such a good support for Georgie. They're like two different worlds that fused together beautifully. I do kind of envy her married life.

The ending is sort of predictable. Georgie's colleague finally confesses his love to her (SPOILER ALERT) and the fate of the current has somewhat turned around, Georgie going through storm and snow trying to reach the love of her life, Neal.

I think this book is a slow read. It did made me unable to put down, but not enough to make me want to quickly flip from page to page. I did get a little bored around the 70-80% part of the book, but once Georgie got her mind and act together and made her big decision, that's when I feel like I wanted to 'run' through the remaining pages of the book. I would recommend this book with 4 star rating :).

Image source: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18081809-landline

From Muzdalifah

I was flipping through the little blue notebook where I stored all of my prayers for hajj. I had written a couple of journal entries to describe my feelings and the situation around me in there. And the following entry was written when I was in Muzdalifah:

3/10/14 Friday

Today was the big day. The day everyone has been waiting for - the day of Arafah. I was already awake from 1.30 am and didn't continue sleeping at all until we reached Arafah. The bus? Don't ask. It came after Subuh. You can feel how frustrated I was lacking of sleep only to find we were able to move to Arafah after Subuh. But I kept my calm. Afterall, hajj is all about practicing your patience.

We arrived at Arafah desert and walked our way to our tent. Our tent was very simple. No air conditioning, no fan, no cushion. Just carpet and the tent. The weather was very hot. I was almost tempted to complain, but I kept my mouth shut. 

I used my time to rest between Dhuha to Dhuhr, saving my energy for wukuf* time. I had completed my Quran recitation (khatam) the day before, so I was actually a bit reluctant to start reading it again. Instead, I made more dzikr to fill in for the waiting/idle time.

When Dhuhr time just rolled in, we prayed Dhuhr and Ashar jama' qashar ta'dim immediately. We then started the long period of time to make du'a, du'a which will be granted by Allah (inshaaAllah). We contemplated on our mistakes and sins in the past, lead by the leader of the hajj group. By the time we finished with the du'a/prayer together, it was already 2pm. Say that again? Yes, it was already 2pm. Given that, I knew we didn't have a lot of remaining time left to make the rest of our du'as. According to the hadith, wukuf is one of the best time to make du'a. There were so many that we wanted to ask for but so little time!

Before we know it, 4pm had passed. After reciting all of the du'as for my family and friends, husband asked me to make du'a together privately. We walked away from our tent and found a quiet spot to continue our du'as.

5pm had passed. We returned to our tent and found everyone standing outside of the tent facing the qiblat making the last du'as before the wukuf time finishes, just when the sun rolled into the night. We made our last du'a while watching the sun set behind the mountain of rocks. Beautiful, maashaaAllah.

***

It turned out the wukuf wasn't as scary as I had imagined. Alhamdulillah Allah always kept my expectation so that every time throughout the hajj journey so that I could restrain myself from making complaints.

Just after Maghrib, we moved towards Muzdalifah, the 'thousand stars hotel' (not three, four, or five - if you get what I mean). There was a sea of people sleeping on the rock hard grounds. Everyone looks the same to me. You can't tell them apart from their worldly status, whether they are a leader from a famous company or a just a poor man. Everyone is the same in their ihram clothing. 

Today was a day that caught me in an awe. It's such a blessing for me to be able to witness all of this while I'm still young. Hopefully it will change me in a positive way when I return home. And I sincerely would like to return here again someday.

We only have 3 days left before this pilgrimage is complete. Honestly I can't wait to be home and appreciate more of what I have. It is true that in hajj we left everything behind - our family, our likes, our favourite food, our comfort zone, and everything else, all for Allah. Lillah ta'ala.

Alhamdulillah me and husband had firmly set our intention at the beginning which had helped us getting through and surviving the hajj process. Sometimes (a lot of times) I thought to myself, "Dita, what have you put yourself into!?" (of my very strong intention and will of going for hajj). I didn't expect it would be this exhausting. It's like PPAM all over again, for 30 days in fact. But you know what, if it's for Allah and you believe in Allah, rest assure that everything will turn out just fine.

Saturday, 4/10/2016 1am

Muzdalifah

*Reference on Wukuf:
Wukuf is the main activity in hajj. If a pilgrim missed the wukuf, then his/her hajj will not be considered legitimate. Wukuf time is considered as one of the best time to make du'a as reported in the hadith by Amr ibn Shu’aib: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The best supplication is that which is made on the day of Arafat."

Struggling with Multilingualism

Photo source: http://ux.prattsils.org/2015/10/language-learning-in-a-mobile-world/

Sometimes it does frustrate me that I can't get my points straight using effective sentences when speaking because English is my second language. Out of the 28 years of my life, I've only been effectively using English daily for 5 years. I don't go to fancy private school or university program which offers courses to be taught in English. My head has been programmed to think in my native language, then translate them to English. And even from one sentence in my native language, I can come up with several ways to put it out. And I guess what's worse is that I have the tendency to correct my grammar in the middle of my speech, haha. Some people, they could just go on and on talking without realising the numerous mistake in their speech, but if I my picks up a mistake I tried to correct it straight away.

Although I'm frustrated with my English skills, I am proud to be multilingual. The coolest thing about it is that you can talk in another language and other people around you will not understand. So, for example, when I'm at the office calling my husband, I wouldn't use English because then the people sitting next to me would know what I'm saying (especially if I say sweet and embarrassing words :P). I can read Arabic - although not necessarily understand the meaning but a few - and I understand spoken (harsh) Javanese (the language of my ancestors, learned this by listening to a lot of my grandmother's stories and conversations between mum and dad). My husband - on the contrary, he's also Javanese, but he couldn't understand a thing because he was brought up in Jakarta and his dad doesn't speak Javanese at home.

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

I guess, with language, the best way to learn it is to practise it everyday. In the last three years I've been in Australia, I can safely say I'm much better at speaking English. Especially since I started working because I was then forced to use English everyday for at least 8 hours. I did have issues in my first interviews, as I had just been out of the "stay at home wife" world, I hardly talk to other people, and we didn't have TV. Even if I had communication with others, it would be in Bahasa.

Whilst when I was in Japan for one year, I still relied heavily on English because most people around me were able to speak English and Indonesian (if you can't guess, I only socialised with international students, my bad!). I didn't have to use a lot of Japanese unless I was going to eat out or grocery shop; although almost all of my lab members, every time I speak in Japanese they would respond in Japanese (do they think I speak their language perfectly fine?) and I would be looking back at them in confusion. At the end of the program, I was able to understand Japanese bit by bit, but now I have completely forgotten everything, which is really sad.

OUR BRAIN IS AMAZING

As a multilingual person, I think our brain is really cool. I mean think about it, God has given us brain that can process one language and translate it to another at a very high speed! I wish I had the drive to learn a new language. I've been meaning to further my Japanese language skills since years ago, but never really had the chance (or willingness?) to continue. When I have kids, I will definitely encourage and facilitate them to master at least two languages - English and Bahasa. I don't want their grandparents to miss out on communicating properly with their grandkids. Besides, we're still Indonesians after all. And I will also tell them how cool it is to be able to speak more than one languge ;).

If you still have the age and the brain, I think you should definitely give it a go at learning a language! Then if time and finance allows, visit that country and actually apply what you have learned :). I just wish Doraemon's translation jelly was real...

Copy-Cat Haagen Dazs Strawberry Ice Cream

My all time favourite ice cream was Haagen Dazs... until I tried Messina (LOL, and I still owe a Messina review). Anyway, the most decent ice cream you can get in Jakarta was Haagen Dazs, so whenever I wanted to spoil myself with gourmet ice cream, I would head straight to a Haagen Dazs cafe. Haagen Dazs have just recently made a re-entrance to the Australian market and I'm so stoked about it. Can't wait for their launch in Sydney! Their matcha ice cream is da-bomb!

Two summers ago I purchased a pretty red ice cream maker. I found a Haagen Dazs strawberry copy cat ice cream recipe and wanted to try that out. The strawberries that I purchased at that time were very sweet, so it made the ice cream taste even better! The recent batch that I made taste more like sugar, but I reckon it's because the strawberries were not at their full flavour. Once you have made a homemade ice cream, you will never want to buy a supermarket one which is full of churned air.

This recipe is very easy to follow, but it had omitted one of the most important ingredient in ice cream making which is egg yolks, which is also listed in the ingredients of a Haagen Dazs ice cream. Honestly I'm still too scared about the idea of mixing hot liquid with egg yolk, afraid that the egg yolk would actually scramble. So I stuck with the copy-cat recipe and omit the egg yolk. In the future, I definitely would like to try making ice cream with egg yolks as it will create a creamier texture (yum!).

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 cups heavy cream
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 cup diced strawberries

DIRECTIONS:

1. Clean and cut up the strawberries. Crush it using blender and dtrain the seeds.
2. Add the sugar to the strawberries, mix.
3. Measure the heavy cream, milk and vanilla add to a pitcher.
4. Mix the strawberries with the remaining liquids.
5. Let the mixture chill in the fridge for several hours.
6. Turn your ice cream machine on (this is important, do not put the liquid into the ice-maker first) and pour the strawberry mixture into the ice-maker. This takes about 15-20 minutes.  When the kitchen aid machine starts making a clicking sound the ice cream is done. Put the ice cream into a container and freeze.

Recipe source: http://arrisje.com/haagen-daz-strawberry-ice-cream-copycat/

Can Women Really Have it all?

Every International Women's Day reminds me of this question. And on every International Women's Day, I will spend the day Googling can women have it all. For someone who runs their own business, they have the luxury of flexible working hours, but not necessarily those who works in the corporate world. I have always been trying to find an answer to this question and I think I have made peace with it. I have found an answer that satisfy my logic - yes (women can have it all), but not at the same time.

I was brought up to become competitive. I am ambitious and I know I do want to achieve a lot of things. I can't imagine myself staying at home, taking care of house chores, kids and husband. I wanted more than that. Furthermore, my parents, especially my mum, supported my aspirations. She has always said, "You are a a person with a bright mind. You worked your way to good schools. You deserve more than just becoming a stay-at-home-wife/mother. And if something undesired happen to your husband, at least you have a job to support you." To be honest, I have never thought about her last sentence, but it made sense.

I had initially planned to have my first born when I was 26 and have my third (and last) when I'm 30. I planned my pregnancies likewise because, according to studies, women start to lose fertility when they're 30 and the quality of the eggs also declined. But because I was so focused on catching up with my peers (I'm 2 years behind my peers in terms of work experience), I delayed the plan. I thought, "Many women nowadays have their first when they are 30. I'll just delay having my first again until I reach 30 years old and by then I will (probably) have caught up with the rest of my peers." But now I thought about my husband being almost in his mid 30s, I can't really delay anymore. I don't want my husband to be too old when the kids are in college and I don't want to conceive with bad quality eggs - I need to be fair with the kids too by providing them a good start.

Now that I'm going to have a little bubba of my own, that's when reality really hits. That's when the "can women have it all" question became even more relatable for me. I can't and don't want to be selfish anymore. If I want my kids to grow up to be successful, well mannered, and religious, I know I need to put a lot of hard work into it. And maybe invest a lot of time in it as well. But we live in Australia as first generation of immigrants, we have no support system! Childcare is very expensive and our families (who we would trust our kids to the most) is faraway in Indonesia. Although I would love to take one year of maternity leave, I will still not be able to do so because we have other financial commitments to be met. Will I have the energy and work flexibility to do all this? Or do I have to make big sacrifices? Well, I'm still thinking about it. My prioritising skills will be heavily tested once bubba comes to this world and I'm back to work.

I've seen many mothers at my workplace trying to juggle between work and family. From executives to associate directors. And I think they're doing an awesome job. Those in higher ranks do have much more flexibility though e.g. they can work 3 days a week, or they can work from home if they choose to. Sometimes I thought, maybe I should have waited until I work my way up the rank before having my first, but by then I will probably be 30 already - and like I said, I want to be fair to my kids. But a teammate of mine had her first around my age and she was promoted to manager just several months before she went on maternity leave. But I don't think that is going to happen to me because I spilled the beans too quickly.

Sometimes these things just adds to the stress, but I'm trying my best to be positive and am thankful to be a Muslim because I don't need to worry about the kids' rizq, because Allah will guarantee it. If we have good intentions, inshaaAllah, Allah will make it easy. You just need to have faith. It is easy to say but having faith is one of the very foundation of Islam and it is difficult to exercise. I just hope I can become a good mum for my kids and also still be able to achieve my dreams.

Mie Aceh Kuah - Asli Enak!

Beberapa hari yang lalu temanku meng-upload foto sepiring mie Aceh. Hmmm... sudah pasti aku ngiler-ngiler melihatnya. Sebelumnya aku pernah memasak mie Aceh tapi rasanya baru 90% mendekati, belum pas betul. Dan seumur-umur aku tinggal di Australia, baru satu kali makan mie Aceh yang rasanya 99.99% mirip Pidie, dan saat itu yang bikin adalah teman ngajiku yang memang orang Aceh aseli. Jadi, sejak itu sudah terpatri di otakku bahwa yang punya resep mie Aceh asli hanya orang Aceh. Sayang Aku coba Googling resep mie Aceh tapi yang muncul kebanyakan blog-blog ga jelas yang suka asal copy paste resep. Akhirnya aku tanya openly di Facebook-ku kalau kalau ada yang tahu resep mie Aceh asli yang enak seperti di restoran Pidie. Dan alhamdulillah salah satu seniorku di kampus yang sekarang tinggal di Adelaide memperkenalkan aku dengan resep ini.

Karena aku sudah punya semua bahan-bahan untuk membuat bumbunya, akhirnya aku eksekusi juga resep itu hari ini. Hanya tinggal kol, taoge, mie kuning, dan dagingnya saja yang perlu dibeli. Akhirnya sore-sore aku berjalan menuju shopping center untuk membeli semua bahan tersebut. Sampai rumah, aku baru sadar si tukang daging lupa membungkuskan diced beef yang aku pesan! Untung masih ada minced beef yang juga dibeli tadi. Akhirnya kuganti dagingnya dengan daging giling, yang menurutku lebih pas karena cepat matang dan tidak perlu takut dagingnya 'alot'.

By the way, step-by-step cara memasakku dengan penulis aslinya agak berbeda dan aku juga tambahkan 1 sdm bubuk kari karena rasa karinya menurutku agak kurang 'greget'.



Bahan-bahan:

• 200 gram daging sapi, potong kecil2 (bisa di ganti dengan daging kambing, udang, kepiting, atau jamur)
• 300 gram mie kuning basah (saya pakai Hokkien noodles yang tebal)
• 2 butir bawang merah, diiris tipis-tipis (karena malas, saya ganti dengan bawang goreng, haha)
• 1 buah tomat ukuran kecil, dipotong-potong
• 250ml air kaldu/air biasa (boleh tambah sesuai selera)
• 50 gram taoge
• 3 sendok makan minyak untuk menumis
• 1 batang daun bawang, diiris
• 3 batang seledri, iris

Bumbu halus:

• 6 butir bawang merah
• 4 siung bawang putih
• 3 butir kemiri
• 1 cm jahe
• 1 sdm bawang goreng
• 2 sdm ebi yang udah disangrai
• 4 buah cabe merah
• 5 buah cabe rawit merah
• 1/4 sendok teh jintan
• 1/4 sdt ketumbar
• 1/2 sendok teh lada bubuk putih
• 1 sdm bubuk kari
• 1 sdm saos tomat (saya pakai tomato paste)
• 1 1/2 sdm saos tiram
• 1 1/2 sendok makan kecap manis
• 1/2 sendok makan garam
• 1/2 sdt kecap asin

Bahan pelengkap:

• Emping goreng
• Bawang goreng secukupnya
• Potongan tomat
• Potongan mentimun

Cara membuat:

1. Seduh mie, kol, dan taoge dengan air panas
2. Panaskan minyak. Tumis bawang merah dan bumbu yang telah dihaluskan sampai beraroma harum. Tambahkan daging (udang, kepiting), masak sampai matang 85%.
3. Tambahkan tomat, taoge, dan kol. Aduk hingga layu. 
4. Tambahkan air, kemudian masukkan mie kuning. Aduk-aduk hingga tercampur semua
5. Sajikan mie Aceh dengan acar mentimun, emping goreng/kerupuk, dan taburan bawang goreng.

Setelah membaca resepnya baru aku mengerti bagaimana cara membuat mie Aceh asli yang tidak harus pakai udang tapi masih terasa udangnya (karena menurutku ga mungkin mie Aceh ga pakai udang, jadi kalau ada resep yang tidak pakai udang pasti langsung aku skip), rupanya pakai ebi di bumbu halusnya! Pokoknya aku sudah cocok sekali dengan resep ini, it's definitely a keeper! Sekarang ga perlu pusing lagi kalau ngidam mie Aceh, yummm!!