From Muzdalifah

I was flipping through the little blue notebook where I stored all of my prayers for hajj. I had written a couple of journal entries to describe my feelings and the situation around me in there. And the following entry was written when I was in Muzdalifah:

3/10/14 Friday

Today was the big day. The day everyone has been waiting for - the day of Arafah. I was already awake from 1.30 am and didn't continue sleeping at all until we reached Arafah. The bus? Don't ask. It came after Subuh. You can feel how frustrated I was lacking of sleep only to find we were able to move to Arafah after Subuh. But I kept my calm. Afterall, hajj is all about practicing your patience.

We arrived at Arafah desert and walked our way to our tent. Our tent was very simple. No air conditioning, no fan, no cushion. Just carpet and the tent. The weather was very hot. I was almost tempted to complain, but I kept my mouth shut. 

I used my time to rest between Dhuha to Dhuhr, saving my energy for wukuf* time. I had completed my Quran recitation (khatam) the day before, so I was actually a bit reluctant to start reading it again. Instead, I made more dzikr to fill in for the waiting/idle time.

When Dhuhr time just rolled in, we prayed Dhuhr and Ashar jama' qashar ta'dim immediately. We then started the long period of time to make du'a, du'a which will be granted by Allah (inshaaAllah). We contemplated on our mistakes and sins in the past, lead by the leader of the hajj group. By the time we finished with the du'a/prayer together, it was already 2pm. Say that again? Yes, it was already 2pm. Given that, I knew we didn't have a lot of remaining time left to make the rest of our du'as. According to the hadith, wukuf is one of the best time to make du'a. There were so many that we wanted to ask for but so little time!

Before we know it, 4pm had passed. After reciting all of the du'as for my family and friends, husband asked me to make du'a together privately. We walked away from our tent and found a quiet spot to continue our du'as.

5pm had passed. We returned to our tent and found everyone standing outside of the tent facing the qiblat making the last du'as before the wukuf time finishes, just when the sun rolled into the night. We made our last du'a while watching the sun set behind the mountain of rocks. Beautiful, maashaaAllah.

***

It turned out the wukuf wasn't as scary as I had imagined. Alhamdulillah Allah always kept my expectation so that every time throughout the hajj journey so that I could restrain myself from making complaints.

Just after Maghrib, we moved towards Muzdalifah, the 'thousand stars hotel' (not three, four, or five - if you get what I mean). There was a sea of people sleeping on the rock hard grounds. Everyone looks the same to me. You can't tell them apart from their worldly status, whether they are a leader from a famous company or a just a poor man. Everyone is the same in their ihram clothing. 

Today was a day that caught me in an awe. It's such a blessing for me to be able to witness all of this while I'm still young. Hopefully it will change me in a positive way when I return home. And I sincerely would like to return here again someday.

We only have 3 days left before this pilgrimage is complete. Honestly I can't wait to be home and appreciate more of what I have. It is true that in hajj we left everything behind - our family, our likes, our favourite food, our comfort zone, and everything else, all for Allah. Lillah ta'ala.

Alhamdulillah me and husband had firmly set our intention at the beginning which had helped us getting through and surviving the hajj process. Sometimes (a lot of times) I thought to myself, "Dita, what have you put yourself into!?" (of my very strong intention and will of going for hajj). I didn't expect it would be this exhausting. It's like PPAM all over again, for 30 days in fact. But you know what, if it's for Allah and you believe in Allah, rest assure that everything will turn out just fine.

Saturday, 4/10/2016 1am

Muzdalifah

*Reference on Wukuf:
Wukuf is the main activity in hajj. If a pilgrim missed the wukuf, then his/her hajj will not be considered legitimate. Wukuf time is considered as one of the best time to make du'a as reported in the hadith by Amr ibn Shu’aib: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The best supplication is that which is made on the day of Arafat."