Bapak's Day

I give up. I've been trying to write this in Bahasa, but my words turned out very dangdut. So, here goes the English version.

I didn't realise that 12 November is National Father's Day in Indonesia, around two months after Australia's one. No wonder today I found so many social media posts about fathers - someone's father or husbands who are already a father. Although this post may arrive late, at least I would like to participate in giving my testimonial for my dad.

There is nothing special with my relationship with Bapak (as I usually call him), or anyone in the family, really. I had difficulty in describing my relationship with him, but a friend of mine in Facebook was able to describe it precisely, pola komunikasi keluarga kami dari keluarga Jawa sederhana yang jarang mengungkapkan kata-kata manis. Bapak is not the type of person who can initiate a fun conversation.

Bapak is a very busy man. He's busy at the office on weekdays, and busy practising golf on the weekends. Perhaps because I am used to not seeing dad relaxing at home, it's very diffciult for me to imagine Bapak not having a job once he retires. After he retired from his post in one of the national banks, Bapak was allocated a post in one of the bank's subsidiary, working two to three days a week.  I was waiting for my visa approval in Indonesia at that time, so I was home almost everyday and I would see Bapak at home more often. Believe it or not, it's so odd seeing him at home doing nothing. But I can't really tell whether he is bored or not just staying at home doing nothing. Eventually, when I went for Hajj last year, I asked Allah to give him a full time job. Alhamdulillah Allah granted my prayer. Now that Bapak works full time, he couldn't take days off to accompany mum to visit me in Australia *oh dear...*.

Anyway, despite of his shortcomings, at the end of the day he's still my dad. And these are the reason why I still think he's a good great dad:

DOORS TO OPPORTUNITIES

When I was 10 years old, Bapak received scholarship to pursue MBA degree in the US. He brought the whole family along about a year after he completed his language school and ready to start the MBA course. When I arrived, I had zero English conversation skill. Two years later, I was talking fluently and I also had picked up the American accent. 

When we returned from the US, people knew me as a kid who's fluent in English. I would participate in various English competitions and often won. I also consider myself lucky because I never really had to worry about my TOEFL ITP score. I would always pass the minimum requirement to apply for a scholarship overseas. This definitely has opened doors of opportunities for me. When I interviewed for exchange to Tokyo Institute of Technology, I'm almost 100% confident that it is my English conversational skills that had won me the golden ticket. Sometimes I wonder, if I had not learnt English naturally from the natives, would I be this fluent?

SMART

I often hear from mum's stories that Bapak is very respected in the company, also dubbed the smartest in the company. However, he never made it to the board of directors - always very close on being one though. 

I never doubt that he is smart because he can help me with my Physics course in university. Can you believe it!? I mean, he has been out of the university for 30 years and perhaps hasn't touched that subject for decades since he started working in a bank! Also, he is the can-do-everything type of person. He can do various handyman jobs. I think these have influenced me to look for the same type of person as a husband. So, yes, if you're dad has excellent traits, there is a chance that you might look for a similar one in your future soulmate :).

HONESTY AND INTEGRITY

When mum was spending her time in Sydney, we had a catch up discussing everything from important issues to gossips. She was telling me about a couple of incidents which touches integrity issue at Bapak's office. Of course Bapak, being the very honest man, always criticises and questions data discrepancies and also refusing to sign a document which has false information. I just can't believe someone with very high rank at Bapak's office is actually doing dishonest acts. Well, I pray that Allah would give that person a lesson (looks like Allah had given him the lesson, but perhaps he just doesn't realise... poor man). Anyway, I'm very very proud of Bapak for sticking to the right path.

DON'T BUY IT IF YOU DON'T NEED IT
I guess my parents are the best at this, managing money. It looks like all of their three kids picked up the same traits, with my brother being the most stingy and me being the least. This financial advise has been really helpful for me and I live by it.

My parents are a big believer of "don't buy if you don't need it", but mum said Bapak is even more stingy. Bapak managed to stick to his old Honda Accord for years, I reckon that car is as old as I am. He finally retired that car after he received car facility from the office. He doesn't wear fancy watch, cufflinks, or other branded items; he doesn't eat at fancy restaurants or eat out very often. He would settle with anything as long as it is comfortable to wear and as long as it fills his tummy. He refused when I offered to purchase an iPad for him. So, I eventually got one for mum, but now he's the one using it most of the time hahaha.